Happy College Football Season!

In honor of the hogs having their very first game of the year tomorrow, Lila wore her cheerleading uniform all day.  I think the people of Memphis found it very uplifting and fresh, as opposed to the usual drab Memphis Tigers gear they see out and about.   She is also learning to call the hogs, which just makes my heart so happy.  Mattie has a very solid hog call and Reese still gets really excited and the sooie part ends up getting squealed a bit more than necessary….I’m very proud of these lessons I’m instilling in my children.

Reese doesn’t have a cheerleading uniform, so instead he wore the next best thing as we went all over East Memphis……his batman costume.  It seemed like the least of my worries today, and as long as he understood that once it was on,  this was his outfit for the day…then I was fine with it.  While we were dining at Subway, a nice gentleman asked me if we were practicing for Halloween and I think I just stared at him completely confused for a good 2 minutes.  Racking my brain, trying to figure out what he could be referring to.  Had the kids asked him for candy?  WAs one of them making faces at him?  Was Reese carving a face into his sandwich?  What was this guy even talking about.  He must have seen that I was not understanding him at all and then went on to say something witty like how he had never had lunch next to a superhero before.

Oh that…

I don’t even notice any more.

Which made me think back to last week when a few more costumey things happened that I didn’t get a chance to blog about.

This was Mattie decked out for Hawaiian Day at school.  I think they were thinking more along the line of beachy and brightly colored shirts.  Maybe some grass skirts worn over swim trucks and of course tons of leis.  We went with what we had which was a bit more “native”.  All the ladies in this family have a mumu of some form or another and Mattie’s just happens to function as both AFrican and Island girl.  We thought the shell necklace and neutral flip-flops were a nice touch and to make sure that no one questioned her authenticity, the pineapple that she carried around all day seemed a nice touch.

Maui Mattie and her Pineapple

Straight out of the fields of Dole

I think this pineapple was actually grown somewhere very far away from Hawaii

And this really has no real explanation except that we were playing Africa at our house last Thursday.  Reese was trying out his new crocodile costume and Lila was a lion.

That’s one contemplative crocodile

Don’t all houses have tons of costumes just lying around?  I’m beginning to think that we are the only ones.

She looks like a creature from “Where the Wild Things Are” or some sort of varmint that would scurry under a shed at night

This tail kept knocking things off the table

She’s a “mane-iac”

There was one point when the play got all sorts of Discovery Channel on us.  It looked like things #2 and #3 were playing “Lion-getting-a-drink-from-the-river-and-the croc-attacks”, but I don’t know that Lila really was completely aware of what was going on.  We have a runner and full-sized rug in our kitchen and Reese had been lying on the tile in between them for a very long time while I was helping Mattie with a project.  He was just lying there, planking so it seemed, I guess getting into character.  And Lila, she was hapiily chasing her tail under the table, still on the rug.  Then she made a mistake, she went too close to the edge of the rug and the docile Reese leaped at her.  I think a little of her faux fur actually flew.

We just stood back, watching nature take it’s course, wondering if we should intervene.  Mattie did offer to pounce on Reese’s back the way the Gator Boys on tv do, but I told her that probably wasn’t necessary.

We had Mattie’s school open house about an hour later, but don’t worry, the kids all wore proper clothing and the costumes were left at home.

And on another completely random note, I was noticing last week that I was getting a lot of strange looks by neighbours, our security patrol man and folks in parking lots when I was getting in and out of my car.  I finally realized why:

Have you seen Talledega Nights? This is my version of Karen the Cougar

Mattie took this little treasure to show and tell the first week of school.  I’m sure it brought up all sorts of questions regarding our family in her new teacher’s mind.  Way to baptize her by fire Mattie, let her know right from the start that we are a peculiar people.  I also found out that she has been asking for special prayer for Jimmie lately, prayer for his races.  I guess her teacher finally told her that we can’t pray that someone wins races, that wouldnt be fair.  Mattie quickly quipped back that she wasn’t praying that he would win, just that he would be safe.  I don’t know that Mattie ever explained who Jimmie was and what sorts of races he is in all the time.  For all Ms. Williams knows, we have a horse named Jimmie that we are racing every week.  Anyway, this got loaded in when I picked up from school two weeks ago and I forgot all about it until it was time to load up the car for Arkansas.

Then, when the neighbor lady walking her dog asked what kind of leash I used for my cat as I was getting groceries out of the car, I finally had to chuckle at why we had been getting so many stares whenever our trunk was open.

Have a great weekend! And WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PIG SOOOOOIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Weird Thought and My Whereabouts the Past Few Days

I have weird ideas sometimes. I know, shocking isn’t it.  But it’s true.

This particular, weird idea, took root a few years ago when I ran out of my shampoo.  When I went to purchase another bottle of my current favorite, there wasn’t any.  And it appeared that it was no longer being made.  I have that effect on products.  It can be around for years and then I start using it and suddenly it will be discontinued.  So this didn’t completely surprise me, but at the time, it just about pushed me over the edge of my sanity.  I think it probably had something to do with my being pregnant with Lila and still fully engaged in the nausea phase.  I get a nice hearty dose of all-day sickness when I am with child and toiletries seem to be especially puke-inducing for me.

I think that at the time, the idea of walking up and down the aisle of hair-care products smelling each one caused a small panic attack, so I just left the store empty-handed only to wake up the next morning realizing that I needed to wash my hair and I was out of shampoo.  I decided that I would just use one of the small bottles in our collection of travel soaps and lotions collected from various hotels.  And then the idea was born……

Let’s see how long I could go without actually buying shampoo and just using the little saved hotel smapoos.

Obviously, I don’t have a whole lot going on in my life.

I went 7 months without purchasing any new shampoo and I look at that experience and still feel some sort of gratification from it.  I have no idea why.

So it should come as no surprise that about two weeks ago when I ran out of lotion, rather than come downstairs where I knew I had another full-sized lotion waiting for me in my stash (I hit up the Bath & Body Works sales twice a year), I decided to use a travel sized bottle I found in my toiletry bag.

It’s called “Hydrating Cream” from the Westin and I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m really not 100% sure that it’s not hair conditioner.  If you are a an expert on Westin Hotel bath products, I would love to hear from you on just what it’s intended purpose is.  But in the meantime, my leg hair seems to have more body and volume than ever before.

I used all of my tiny bottle today and now I am stuck with the dilemma of starting a whole travel-sized lotion experience or do I go and get a new, full-sized bottle.  I have real problems on my hands  don’t I?

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In other news, I have been absent these past few days because we were in Arkansas.  Oh, it was so nice to travel west on I-40 after far too long.  We hadn’t seen Mumsey and Poppy since the end of May and it had been a very long 3 months!

It’s been so long, Lila’s outgrowing the little crib

We got caught up, well as caught up as you can, on hugs, kisses and cuddles.  I think cuddles are kind of like sleep, you can’t really bank them or catch up for what you’ve missed.  But a little extra is always nice.

More Mumsey time

Time out for kisses

Getting some Mumsey Love

We did some swinging and outside playing

Swingin’

I’m really a fan of this new hair, especially with a giant bow

Admiring her hunted grasshoppers…they died. It was a good lesson in how the wild belongs in the wild

Helping Tootsie catch grasshoppers

Hitting his sisters with a badminton racquet

Swinging with Poppy

Checking out the always burning brush pile…thank you neighbors we love it. That is a lie

Lila got in on the badminton fun

Snapping green beans

Scowling

And of course we tended to some very important business, purchasing some new Hog wear for the start of football season.  Razorback clothing isn’t particularly easy to come by here in Memphis, which is the home of all things Tigers and Ole Miss.  I think we are all set on t-shirts, cheerleading uniforms, casual sweaters and hoodies.  I think…..

This is not all from this past week, it is also not all of our collection.

Mattie also insisted that we purchase a new hog magnet for the car.  Brandon….it was completely her idea because she said our tiny hog stickers on the license plate were fading.

Woo Pig Sooie

And while the kids and I were living it up at the Mumsey and Poppy Inn, this was going on back at home:

The poor ottoman

Brandon learned very quickly that Elphie, the pup, can not be left alone uncaged while he takes a shower.

Behind bars

So that is where I have been for the past week.  Just in case you were incredibly worried.  It’s time for my to iron now.  I have managed to get Mattie through about 2.5 weeks of school without ironing a thing and that brings me a lot of satisfaction.  But it’s getting to be that time again.  Have a Happy Thursday!

Seven Years Ago…..

We haven’t had “Seven Years Ago Today” in quite a while so I thought it might be fun to bring it back. Actually, we might just have to make this “Seven Years Ago This Month”.

Technically, this was 7 years and 3 days, but I thought it was worth sharing.

Seven years ago today, we were concerned because Mattie still wasn’t really speaking. This is her waiting for the Sooner Start team to come and evaluate her to see if she needed speech therapy. It makes me laugh now, Mattie with a speech problem…yeah, she won’t stop.

Her favorite dolly at the time was “Big Boy” she insisted on having him swaddled and sleeping beside her. He was actually a bank.

Posing at The Pink House, my favorite little tea house ever

My goodness how this girl has grown up!

Today No One Saw My Underwear…I Don’t Think…But It’s Always Possible

After admitting to both the world and myself that I am a little out of sorts, I decided that in nothing else, I would start today with a better attitude.  That and with and underpants/ outer wear combo that would better compliment each other.  I went with my latest favorite mumu.  Yes, you read that correctly…I am into wearing sack-like dresses these days.  They are super comfy and don’t require pants, which with my new habitual Coke drinking, pants aren’t really my favorite.

Me and my tent-like dress

Brandon informed me this morning that he didn’t have any patients until noon, so I should go out and spend some Kaylee-time.  I decided to do it up big.  I was going to go all out, go big or go home right?  Coffee at Starbucks, actually sitting in a chair not going through the drive-thru wasn’t going to be enough.  Even a pedicure was small potatoes compared to my big agenda (actually, due to his short notice, there were no openings with the pedicure people, otherwise I may have gone that route instead.)  So what was I up to with my 2 hours and 15 minutes of solitude?  The DMV….oh, yeah.

Brandon’s car tag expired back in July or June and mine was going to be up at the end of the month.  Normally, we just renew them on-line but since we had a change of address (I realize we moved last summer and were already in our new digs when I renewed the car last August, but somehow it seemed okay at the time.), it called for an actual visit.  I have been putting this off until school started so that I would at least have one last kid accompanying me.  I knew it was going to be painful for everyone…us, the employees, the other citizens of Memphis who chose the same branch that we did on the same fateful day.  So if I could cut out just one person from the pain and horror that would be DMV 2013, we would wait.  When Brandon announced that he would be home and could hang out with the rest of our children,I jumped at the chance to knock out this looming task solo.  It seemed more likely that I might make it out alive if I went without my children.

My mumu and I were all set with every sort of form and receipt and piece of identification that I might possibly need, because you can never have enough proof of residency and ownership of your vehicles when going to the DMV.  I think I  may have even had my passport in the pile, just in case….you never know!  And I did not want to risk having to make a return trip.  I walked timidly walked into the DMV, barely glancing around at the others also there for whatever reason.  I went straight over to the number ticket dispenser thing because I did not want that man who walked in at the same time I did to get in front of me.  Number 62….and find a seat.  My eyes searched the front wall for some sort of indication of what number we were currently on, probably 3 as is usually the way of the DMV.  Shock of shocks, we were on 57!  I barely had time to just down a few notes that I wanted to make sure and put in this blog post before they were calling my number.

I was in and out of the Department of Motor Vehicles with an address change and two tag renewals in less than 17 minutes.  And they only asked to see my driver’s license and asked the tag numbers of the two vehicles.  Oh, and two pieces of mail from the past 30 days.  It almost seemed too easy.  Like they let me get away with this, but just wait, I’m going to be called for jury duty next week.  No one gets off that easy.  I was thrilled to be in and out so fast, yet at the same time, it seemed almost a waste of  my “me” time.  Had I known how easy it would be, I wouldn’t have minded taking all the kids.  I could have used those 2 hours and 15 minutes to actually do something I would have enjoyed!

I did end up spending part of my time having a little chat with my dear friend on the phone.  She not only assured me that no one had noticed my loud panties, but also convinced me that another funk inducing catastrophe that I had experienced yesterday(*) was probably fixable.

* So, yesterday I was doing laundry and somehow I managed to bleach a nice quarter-sized splotch on Lila’s new little Ralph Lauren outfit.  She had worn it once and it was a little big, so I was pretty sure that she could hang on to it for next summer.  This had really made me happy, as I had never seen a little outfit quite like this before and I got it very, very cheap and I loved it.  The outfit was sort of a periwinkle color, so though the bleached area wasn’t overly obvious, it was still pretty bad. I was so sad, and kind of whined about it to friend Steph.  She suggested I just try bleaching the rest of the outfit as well and maybe I would like it just as well.

I came home from the DMV, thrilled with my successes and anxious to bleach the heck out of Lila’s outfit.

And that I did.

I bleached every fiber of heck out of that outfit

And every fiber that was keeping it together, as well.

I am nothing if not thorough.

It seemed just fine when I put it in the washing machine.  Well, at least if I’m going to destroy it, I know that I have completely annihilated it.  There was no hope in that little outfit ever seeing another day, thanks to me.  And now even if I had donated it to Goodwill or something, I am saving some other person from holding it up and getting all excited about this adorable outfit, then noticing the big ‘ol bleach spot on the back.

It’s funny that all that is really left is the polo pony and the buttons from the snap crotch.

It’s just strings, a tag and some snaps now

The pony survived

It’s been a good day!

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I have been meaning to share this, but it just kept slipping my  mind.  So this past Friday night, Mattie went to bed with wet hair and when she awoke the next morning and approached me about fixing it for church, I think I just stood there and stared blankly at her.  I had no idea what I was going to do with that short, crazy hair!

Chelsea had straightened it with her muy expensivo flat-iron before she went back to Chattanooga and with Mattie under strict orders not to wash or get her hair wet all week, I had been able to keep it looking pretty good with just my curling iron.  But all that went flying out the window when Mattie actually showered on Friday night.  I stood there looking at what appeared to be a really bad wig on her head and knew that I had to do something drastic.

There was no way we were going to get it nice and smooth using anything here at this house.  So maybe we should go the opposite of straight.  This is where and when I remembered a little promise that I had made to my 14-year-old self.  The self that spent a good many years trying to brush the wavy, curly out of her hair and actually thought that it was possible for it to be smooth just from that.  I remember going to school after finally discovering that gel applied to wet hair and then scrunching that wet hair up into the natural curls I already had, looked pretty darn good.  And maybe, just maybe I was going to be okay after all.  That is when I promised my unborn children that should they have even the slightest of curl to their hair, I would do whatever I could to help them style it.

So after 10+ years, I brought out the suppressed skill of scrunching and performed a little hair miracle on Mattie.  She hung her head upside down and giggled as I applied mousse (that I didn’t even know I had!).  She spent a few minutes in her room reading and then I called her back for step 2, The Diffuser.  She looked at me for a moment, with her eyes as wide as saucers, like she completely expected me to say something like, “okay, while we wait for your hair to dry, I’m just going to stimulate your brain for a few minutes.”  That also got some giggles out of her, but when she realized it was really just the hairdryer, she wasn’t nearly as amused.  Then came the hairspray.  I had already moussed, and scrunched and diffused, there was only one thing left to do and that was spray that hair so that it crunched just a little bit.

I popped a bow in that coif and stood back and admired my creation.  y’all I have to say, I loved it.  I had a huge smile on my face and if i could have hung her little head up on the fridge so everyone could have admired it, I surely would have.  I’m not so sure if her hair really looked that amazing though or it was just the fact that I am a child born of the south and the big hair decades and it felt so natural to me.

She seemed to really be taken by herself though and at church, when she came back to from the children’s story up front, she told me that Ms. Nan (our hair lady) had told her that her mama did a REALLY good job on her hair.  I was proud as punch after that.

Her hair has been scrunched and sprayed the past few days now and it seems to have given her a new hold on life.

I’m really glad that I have these skills that I can pass on to my children, because I know some mother’s don’t have useful expertise such as this.

This was actually before school yesterday. Kinda blurry, but you get the idea

Side view

A little clearer

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One last thing before I go, Reese has been having bad dreams about Sasquatch lately.  I don’t really know how you spell that word.  I think this is actually the first time I have ever attempted to.  Anyway, there have been some pretty intense dreams and the boy has been a little distressed at bed time.  I suppose I know where these dreams are coming from, he watched a few episodes of “Finding Big Foot” last Monday and seeing as that is probably the first foray with the Yeti that he has ever had, I am linking the two events together.  That show though is done in more of an exciting, happy tone.  Like they are truly hoping to finally find their beloved Big Foot and it will be a lovely reunion.  It’s not really presented in a scary, monstery sort of way.  But I guess no matter how you pitch the idea of a large, hairy not quite human, not quite animal creature to a 5-year-old, it’s going to manifest itself as a bad dream.

So after an evening of following me around like a little shadow (I actually stepped on him twice), we sat down to have a little talk about bad dream, real and make-believe and how Satan likes us to be scared, but God is way bigger than any bad dream, scary thoughts, or even Big Foot should he actually be real.  And we he retorted back that the thoughts are always there, I reminded him that God is always with him, too.  He told me to prove it, so that he could use it as ammunition I guess.  So I pulled out his little New TEstament Bible, left in our house by some wandering Gideons – I have no idea where it came from, and showed him Matthew 28:20″….And I am with you always, even unto the end of the age.”  Granted, the context isn’t exactly the same, Jesus is talking about going out and teaching the world about Him, but I think the point is still the same – He is with His people, when they are scared of witnessing or scared of the Big Foot – even until the end of time.  Reese had me underline that promise in his Bible, we marked it with some ear plugs on a string (from Daytona Motor Speedway, of course) so that if he was having bad thoughts with talking he could block them out, and tucked that bible into his pillow case.

No bad dreams

The Sasquatch has been squashed

Call Me Ishmael

I, like Captain Ahab, have been hunting after my own elusive great white whale.  It’s been days now, weeks actually, that I have been taunted by this tricky character.  Only instead of a gigantic mammal, my Moby Dick is a great white hair.  I won’t see if for days, and then all of a sudden as I am scrambling to get ready for church and curling that last little bit, there it will be.  It’s right there, jeering at me, but there isn’t time to get it.  So it gets lost, only to pop out at the next inopportune time, like when I’m driving and happen to glance at myself in the rear view mirror.

I know enough that when you have thin, fine hair like myself, it’s not a good idea to go plucking out my hair in search of that feisty white one.  I have learned that for every hair you are trying to pull out for whatever reason,  about 17 more will also come out.  And none of them are the one you were attempting to remove.  So one must be precise.  You need to use tweezers and probably sit on the edge of the sink so you can really see what you’re doing.  And the driver’s seat of my car is not the ideal set up for that.

But today, while brushing my teeth, that snowy strand came out of hiding and I just happened to have all the time in the world.  With tweezers in my steady hand, I ever so carefully grasped that lone, wirery hair.  Making sure there weren’t any other perfectly good ones also in the grasp of my tweezers, I yanked.

And there it was, this 4 inch long strand of pearly white, unlike any of the rest of my mane.

This did not help my day.

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I’m not having a particularly bad day, it just seems that maybe I am veering towards a funk.  I haven’t decided yet what kind of funk or what might be behind it for sure, but something is a little askew.

For the first time in forever, I bought several pairs of new underwear this weekend.  I know that undergarments can be rather personal subject so I won’t go into lots of detail about things, but lets just say that I was hanging onto some underoos that I had back when I was pregnant………the first time.  That’s really just sad.  There are several things I could say about that, but for now we will just stick with it being sad.  So I was pretty excited about having a little something new to wear today.  Everyone likes new clothes, even if no one else can see them you know it’s new and that’s all that really matters.  So today, after plucking my white hair, I shrugged it off because I knew I was wearing awesome new skivvies.

It wasn’t until about 4:30 this afternoon when it dawned on me that my undies were turquoise and my shorts were white.

Thankfully, I have a 3 ring circus that travels around with me at all times, so there was a constant distraction.  But still…….

Another reason for my funk is that I think I might be feeling old.

There are a lot of people around me either announcing their pregnancies or actually giving birth.  I am not on that boat.  My ship of pregnancy has sailed…a few times… and to be honest with you, I’m really not much of a sailor.  I tend to get extremely sea sick.  Anyway, hearing about all these new babies and having a 3rd grader who is very much not a baby, I am feeling a bit outdated.  In an effort to make myself feel a little better, I have been reminding myself how I am a very young mom.  How I have friends who are older than me who are just now having their first child.  Friends that are older than me and still haven’t had their first yet, like Shannie.  But then I remember Shannon isn’t older than me, just much wiser and a lot taller.  Which if I was a 4th grader, that would be the qualifications for being older than someone else.  But we aren’t in 4th grade anymore.  So forget Shannon being an example of the older, unkidded friends.  The point that I am trying to make to you and myself, is that I am not “old” if people my own age are just starting their families and I should actually be feeling very young and spry.

But instead I feel a little off-kilter.  My birds have not yet left my nest, fact is, they can’t even leave for a minute without it being me who takes them somewhere.  My birds are very present in the nest….and also very loud.  But they aren’t the same little birds they used to be and every day they get one step closer to the edge, to actually stretching out those wings and giving them a try.

I was reminded this past Friday that they are starting to grow up and there are no more Littles when I was at one of my favorite consignment sales.  I love these twice a year sales.  These are my christmas and I have them all written out on my calendar so I don’t miss any.  Consignment season started on Friday and I was chomping at the bit.  I went to the first sale and about 10 minutes in, I realized something had changed.  Instead of finding a rack of cute little things for Mattie, I found nothing because older kids either wear their things out, or I’m just not sharing the same style as these moms.  It’s happening with Reese-sized clothes, too.  Once upon a time, I could go into my “hunting grounds” and find something that would work, that I could mix and match with something else.  I found fun church things that were different from your typical dress shirt and khakis combo most folks stick with for their little guys.  And for the first time in the history of Lila, she is actually too big for whole sections of clothes.

For someone who takes such joy from going children’s clothing shopping and loves nothing more than the hunt, of digging through piles of cast-offs to find that diamond.  That Janie and Jack dress from last season that you loved and here it is, new with tags for $0.99.  That has totally happened to me before, and it’s why I keep up the quest.   And I wonder what my hobby is going to be when I no longer have a reason to search out higher-end children’s clothes at a fraction of their manufacturers suggested retail price.   That day feels like it’s getting closer.

At the first sale, I left with nothing.  Absolutely nothing and that’s just not like me.  The second, I found Reese a cheesy Lego Batman shirt for $1, a pair of pajamas for Mattie, a batman toy, and a little top for a friends little girl.  I guess I should be looking into a new hobby, but I love this one so much!

One step closer to my funk.

I also have been brought to the realization that Reese is growing up when I was at Baby Gap today and it dawned on me that in order to purchase clothing that fits him, I must buy from the last section of the sale rack.  The 5T, the final step before I have to go over to a whole different store, Gap Kids.  And it’s not nearly as cute (or as cheap) over there.  I don’t want to go there, I want to stay here where things go on sale for $4.97 and there is always something navy blue and slightly nautical.  I don’t want to leave from this spot.

And I don’t want him to go to kindergarten next fall.  Mattie being a 3rd grader means we are months away from her being a 4th grader and that’s what we have been talking about since she knew anything about school.  That she would be in 4th when Reese was in Kindergarten.  It was 100 years away when we first started doing the math and figuring it all out.  Where have the 99 years gone?  Mattie has always been an old soul, she was ready to venture out from an early age.  She was forced to venture out at an early age due to the whole, “Mama had to go to work” thing.  I would be lying if I said that there weren’t any tears shed when she started kindergarten, as she will always be my tiny girl, but she has always been wise beyond her years.  It kind of feels like she should have a job by now, or at least be working at an internship.  My point, is that we knew it was inevitable that she would do a little growing up, but Reese…….

Reese, he is supposed to be forever 2, and Lila an infant.

I suppose my lack of finding appealing clothes for him at my sales is just prepping me for 12 months from now when he will be wearing uniforms every day.

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And one last step towards my funk, I have developed a new, bad habit.

For the past 2 weeks, I have found a way to bring genuine 100% not diet or lo-cal Coca-cola into my day.  I crave it and think about it all day.  Brandon even brought a large Coke home with him the other day after a very late meeting.  I drank probably 32 ozs of sugar and caffeine that could dissolve battery acid at 10:30 at night.  In all honesty, this is not a new habit, but rather a falling off the wagon of sorts for me.

I can’t explain where it came from and I feel very terrible about it.  I don’t even enjoy it while I’m drinking it and immediately after that first sip, my teeth feel like they are vaporizing and my body as a whole is bloating beyond recognition.  But still I drink it, if for no other reason, because I have a whole 12-pack in the fridge and I don’t want to waste it.

Here I am walking around with my ornery, tenacious white hairs, wearing pants with inappropriate undergarments, lost and confused about my role in society, rotting out my teeth.

It’s no wonder I’m in a bit of a funk.

Child Mom and a Zoo Visit

She hasn’t come right out and said it, but I think Mattie feels a lot like a single, child mom just trying to make it work and living with her parents.  I met her in the hall yesterday morning, looking exhausted and very disheveled. “Mama, that puppy kept me up all night!”, she said as Elphie yanked her down the stairs.  I stood there thinking to myself, “I hear ya sister, babies will WEAR YOU OUT!” Colic and teething are no joking matter.  But I have to say, I have never had to deal with not being able to sleep due to my baby’s talons scratching around on their bed because they ate their mattress.  I cannot completely say “I’ve been there” on that one.

She also told me yesterday that she doesn’t feel like she has as much time to just be a kid, because now as soon as she gets home from school, she has to go and let her pup out and then spend some time playing with her.  And when she isn’t playing with her or has to do something else, she has to make sure that someone else is watching her or that she’s put in her kennel.  There is also the whole potty training thing.  Brandon and I help her as much as we can and I have been very willing to watch her new baby while she’s at school (it’s very important to us that she finish her education so that she can one day provide for this little one on her own).  But she is continually reminded that this is her pup and her responsibility.

We are thinking that a puppy might work even better than watching that show on MTV, Teen Mom, when she gets to be a little older, too.  Maybe for her 16th birthday, we’ll present her with a nice little 6-week-old pup to remind her again of how much work babies of all sorts are.  I think we might really be on to something here.

So yesterday the younger to kids and I decided that it was too nice of a day to just stay here at home, so we headed to the zoo.  Since we have a pass, I told Reese that we could do whatever he wanted for as long as he wanted (for the 3 hours we were going to be there).  We had no agenda, no feelings that we absolutely had to make it through the whole zoo, because we have our pass and can go back any time.  No pressures.  First stop, to pet the sting rays.  You have to pay extra to do this and I’ll be honest, I really don’t feel like touching something that feels like bath toys that get left in the tub too long and have that filmy coating,( I really hope you know what I’m talking about, if not I guess we are just gross people).  I especially don’t feel like paying an extra $3 to do so.  But he really did and I’m all about saying yes more, and really what’s $6 in the grand scheme of things.  How many times do I drag him places he doesn’t want to be and he gets nothing out of the deal.  I do think he has a pretty cushy life going on right now, but there are things like having to go bra shopping that really, I feel like I owe him for that.  There is nothing fun that can be going on when your mom is taking you bra shopping with her.  Of an upcoming trip I have planned for the DMV.  That’s just cruel and unusual for a 5-year-old.  So he definitely deserved a $3 pet of the sting rays.

I’m pretty sure that Lila shoplifted a teeny tiny sting ray in the gift shop on the way out.  She was playing with it in the store and she had it when I was digging around for my wallet.  Then I forgot about it as I was paying and remembered it again about an hour later, but didn’t see it.  So if she did steal it, it never made it home with us so I feel a little better about that.

Our next stop was to the bats of course.  Reese wanted to sit and eat our snack with the bats.  That was the plan, but when we got in there, the aardvark exhibit right across from the bats was getting cleaned out and it was WAY more exciting.  So we sat there, in the dark, eating letter/ number crackers (just like animal crackers only not so violent) watching this poor zoo keeper clean our a cage…..for 37 minutes.  I was slightly embarrassed, but not enough to move on to something else.  I don’t know what that says about us that this lady in khaki, her little broom and dust pan and those two aardvarks kept us so entertained for that long.  But it was absolutely fascinating.  And did you know that what looked like leaves in the exhibit was actually bits of cardboard boxes?  Who knew?  You learn something absolutely useless every day!

From the bats, we ventured to the reptile building where Lila decided that riding in the stroller was no longer for her.  She also showed us that she isn’t in the least bit frightened by snakes, by going up to the rattlesnake cage and beating forcefully on it while yelling in her special “Lila” gibberish.  Maybe she actually speaks snake because that guy started moving all over the place as she was yelling at it.

Hustlin’

From that point on, she was on the move.  There was a whole zoo to conquer and Reese and I were just slowing her down.  About the time we made it past the elephants, she had tripped about 10 times in her haste to get from China to Africa and her knees were skinned and starting to bleed.  She refused to get back into the stroller, so this was our compromise:

Probably not a good idea

I do own a double stroller, I just chose not to use it

After a quick look at the crocodiles, we decided it was time to go home.  Lila also decided it might not be such a bad idea to get back in the stroller.  We took a little detour into the parakeet display and caught a few budgies (a kind of parakeet) on a stick.  Not something we do every day, so there was a  bit of novelty to it.

A bird friend

I love her Mexican sandals

The Bird Whisperer

Lila Bird grabbing the real bird

The face of a girl who has been beat by the zoo and ready to go

We picked up #1 from school, as well as friend Landon, and then headed home to let Mattie tend to her child and the rest of us get ready to go to the pool.  We only have a handful of days left of the pool so we are trying to make the most of them.

Geronimo

Cannon Ball

This time, the radio was on but only by the diving well, which seems really strange because if you are using the diving board, are you really going to be paying attention to what song is on?  I would think that those of us who might enjoy singing along would be the people who weren’t actually underwater….but that’s just me.

It also appears that the Mr. Freeze set that Reese just got at Target not 2 whole days ago was misplaced at the pool.  Cross your fingers its there when we go by tonight.

Day 2

Today seems to have gone better.  I’m not really sure what happened that made it better, but there wasn’t nearly as much stomping around and exasperation in Thing 1’s voice when any of us spoke to her.  That to me says good day.  She also had yet another punctual day.  I hear that if you do something 40 times in a row, then it becomes a habit.  I guess we just need to forgo the weekends and go through the motions of school for 6 solid weeks and hopefully, it will stick.

We also got Lila’s mullet snipped and a new Swiffer Wet Jet floor cleaner….mine was sadly decapitated and though I have plenty of solution to clean the floor, I had no way of getting said solution onto the floor without a replacement Swiffer.  And crazy thing, my closest Target has been completely out of them.  How does a store, such as Target, run completely out of something like a Swiffer for 2 weeks?  I wouldn’t think there would be a mad rush to buy them anyway, it’s not like they are new to the market or anything.  So you would think that the powers that be would start to take notice, “Oh, we’re gettin’ low on the Swiffers, probably should think about ordering a few more before we completely run out.” I have never been a buyer or manager or anything for TArget though, so I could be completely off in my assumptions.

Anyway, I have been dutifully checking my closest TArget store every few days with no luck.  I suppose I could have gone to another store, but that just seemed wrong.  If I was looking for a shirt or something very particular that they couldn’t have possibly planned for being bought up so quickly.  They really have no idea how fast those adorable hedgehog sweaters are going to go, have you seen them?  They are precious.  Things like that, you can’t predict how the public will respond, especially when it’s still deathly hot outside.  But something as simple as a cleaning product, I think they probably have a pretty good pulse on how many of those puppies to keep in stock.  So I guess I was just trying to teach my Target a lesson…..which meant I have a repulsive floor.  I think I clearly made my point though.

I took the kids swimming this evening.  I realize that school has started and so that should technically mean that summer is over, but we are holding on for dear life.

They don’t play the radio in the evening after school starts.  I’m not sure why, maybe to remind us all that summer is over and the peppy anthems of summer just don’t really apply anymore.  It was super quiet this evening without the radio and with only the 7 of us members there.

Kinda nice, but at the same time, I would prefer they at least put on easy listening or something.

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So I got a bizarre, yet very exciting phone call yesterday.  Let me back up, a few days ago when I was dropping of a little bag to get monogrammed for Lila, there was a paper saying something about needing kids to do play studies and them being paid for their “research”.  There was an email address and so I decided to check it out.  I had to give some personal information, kids ages and stuff like that, but nothing financial or social security numberish.  After submitting the little survey, I got an email back saying that they would let me know if my children sounded like a match to any of the play studies they were conducting.  Okay, sounds good.  And then after a few days I forgot all about it…..until I got the phone call yesterday.  Turns out Reese’s skills are needed this Friday at 3:30 to test out some new Hot Wheels merchandise.  I have no idea what to expect with all this.

What if Reese doesn’t play with them and just sits there?

What if he’s supposed to play with some other boys and he doesn’t get along with them, they all want the same car?

Are they just going to sit there and watch him or play with him?

I feel like I need to prepare him somehow, just because I am the type who likes to be prepared as much as possible.

Maybe that’s the whole point though, that we don’t know what’s going on, so his reactions are more genuine.

But whatever, we are all very excited!  I know they just need the opinion of a 5-year-old boy and really it has nothing to do with Reese in particular, but I think he and I both kind of feel like he has somehow been chosen.  Like his opinion is superior to all the other 5-year-old boys.

We will do our best to keep level heads about us, try to stay humble in this new-found fame of ours…his. This week its Hot Wheels, maybe next week it will be Power Wheels…..the possibilites are endless!

I just hope he likes these little toys he gets to test out because I’m pretty sure that getting to take some home are what his “reimbursement” is going to be.

Have a great Tuesday and I hope your pool is still open and playing summery music!

First Day Jitters

Happy First Day of School!  At least here in my little world it’s the first day.  For those of you reading who are on your 3rd or 4th, or haven’t even started yet or even better those who haven’t been to school in 30 years, Happy second Monday in August 2013!

Our day started out just about perfect.  I woke up in Reese’s bed….little side note here……Reese and I are the only two Baughman’s in this house that don’t snore.  Because of this camaraderie of ours, we often end up spending our nights together.  I am wondering at what point in our life will it be wrong for he and I to be bunkmates.  So back to our morning.  We were up and at ’em right on time.  Mattie was in a good mood and sooo excited!  Even the puppy seemed to have got them memo that we are a very tardy family and this was a big day to be on time.

Mattie got a big kick out of the breakfast set up, especially her dainty little water cup.

Nothing says “3rd Grade I’m your boss” like using the crystal, eating off the celebrate plate at your Wonder Woman placemat

I once heard a little elderly woman say that the nice dishes shouldn’t be put away and only used on special occasions.  Every day of life is an occasion.  And with that thought in mind, the first day of 3rd grade seemed a very high day and worthy of using the crystal.

Maybe it was the straight sugar that she ate for breakfast, but the girl was in gear and shock of all shocks, she was on her way by 7:30.  I feel like we gave off a false impression to her new teacher.  Kind of like we were completely deceitful.  Because being on time is not on the list of Baughman strong points.  I will be curious how long this punctuality thing lasts.

You aren’t ready for school until you pose by the front door

Now, lets all just take a big deep sigh because this is where the day gets all dramatic and moody.

Mattie really likes her new teacher.  She says she’s smart and she’s pretty sure Ms. William’s thinks Mattie’s smart, too.  I guess that’s how we are calculating what makes a good teacher these days.  Also, Mattie likes her teacher’s hair…so I think they are going to work out together alright.

Miss Mattie and her new teacher, Ms. Williams

But then things take a big, deep plunge into the darkness.

There are only 3 girls in Mattie’s class this year, and according to her, recess is doomed.  They need at least 4 girls to play their favorite games and she can’t swing all day, every day.  And on top of that, she’s going to have English this year and “what does that even mean?  I only speak English every single day, since I started to talk!  What kind of class do I have to take about it?” This was followed by some intense stomping out of the room.  Up until this point, Mattie was unaware that she was learning langauge arts in her educational career and it seems to have taken her by surprise.

So……she misses her 3 other good friends, 3rd grade is throwing new and challenging obstacles at her, and her new dog’s leash cuts people’s legs like razor wire.  I might not be able to fix everything in her life, especially the older she gets, but tonight Chik-Fil-A shakes as a surprise right before bed seemed to make everything worth giving it another try tomorrow.

* This is completely random, but I have been wearing the same shirt since Friday.  Not consistently, there have been pajamas at night and a dress to church, but for the actual being dressed in street clothes portion of the last 4 days, I have worn the same thing.  I’m not really sure why I shared this.  It just felt like something that should be put out there.  And one last confession, I completely photo bombed that picture of Mattie by the front door.  I love that my striped robe will forever be a part of her memories of the the first day of 3rd grade.*

 

Third Grade

It is the eve before a big day here at Casa Baughman.  The lunch has been packed in the new owl lunchbag and is currently nesting in the refrigerator.  The school supplies have been purchased and preloaded into the car because we need all the help we can get in that whole transition period in the morning.  The outfit has been selected and laid out perfectly…this one didn’t require too much effort, the whole uniform thing and all.  Now all that is left is to go to bed, close those little eyes and wait.  Wait for the magical grade fairies to come and sprinkle 3rd grade shimmer all over Mattie Belle, making her feel one year older and smarter.

The special first day of school cereal has been purchased and sat out on the table.  This year it’s Hershey’s Cookies and Cream, probably not exactly brain food, but when we are celebrating something around here, we like to do it up with sugar.  And the special “celebrating” plate and cup has been set at her spot…waiting.

I remember 3rd grade very well.  It’s a big year and I’m going to be honest, part of me is a little nervous for the girl as she is about to embark on it.  A lot happens in 3rd grade.  Things like multiplication and division and you are no longer considered one of the little kids anymore.  You aren’t really one of the big kids either, but a lot more is expected out of you now.  Third grade is also when, for me, I just really sort of woke up to the world around me.  The summer, right before school started, my mom was in a terrible car accident.  I remember for the very first time, realizing just how small my mother really was, how fragile even adults can be.  And I didn’t like it.  I had rather enjoyed thinking before that adults can handle anything and nothing bad ever happens to my adults.

The first days of my 3rd grade year were spent worrying that my mom was going to be okay.  I knew she was alive, but okay that was another question.  I feared for her and her healing, but I also became incredibly protective of her.  I didn’t want my friends to see her or really even to ask about her, I didn’t want them to think she looked ugly or scary (she did).  And I remember not really wanting to leave her alone because now it seemed so much worse to be alone when you also had a bandaged up forehead and an eye that wouldn’t open.

I really hope Mattie’s 3rd grade year doesn’t parallel anything like that, for her sake and my own.

But it was a big year.  And I imagine that it will be for my girl, as well.  She’s in a new class, with a new teacher.  Old friends have left for various reasons and we aren’t quite sure who will be there tomorrow morning.

But the lunch is packed and the sugary cereal is set out….we’re as ready as we’re every gonna be.

(on a side note, my mother healed up quite nicely after a few surgeries and lots of prayer and a miracle or two.  She looks anything but scary now, and is actually quite lovely.)

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In completely unrelated news, but equally world changing….we have a new addition here to the family.  To be honest, i have no idea what I was thinking when I agreed to this and even had a real stare down with my new child today, asking her just what we had gotten ourselves into.  She hasn’t yet figured out which toys are hers and which belong to her new siblings.  Normally, they all have to share, but she has a tendency to play with the toys using her mouth and teeth, so we have decided that for hygiene reasons, she shall get her own.  Our new addition also isn’t used to all the crazy that is constantly occurring in our home and it seems to be throwing her off a little bit, causing her to create her own crazy.  I am now the mother of a 10-year-old (going on 77) an 8-year-old, a 5-year-old, an 18 month old and my newest little girl, the 7 month old.  My oldest and youngest are of the canine persuasion.

Elphie was originally adopted by our Chelsea, but do to the life and times of a twenty-something, it became clear that Elphie was going to need a new home.  I volunteered our home for 2  reasons – a) because I couldn’t think of anyone else and 2) I hated to think of Chels giving up her precious little pup to strangers and never seeing her again.  So it only seemed right that we would take her, besides Mattie has been begging for a puppy forever and this seemed way better than starting from scratch with a teeny one.  And what’s one more dog, right?

I was a little surprised that Brandon was so eager for us to take this little pup, but now that I think about it, I completely get why he said yes so quickly.  This is usually about the time that I start thinking how I’d like another baby, once my actual baby starts getting less baby-like.  I think he is thinking that if I am at my wit’s end with trying to handle the children I have, my elderly dog and a new puppy…it will be like a vaccination for baby fever.  He’s smart that Brandon.

Chelsea left this morning and Mattie has taken over her job.  She takes it very seriously and between you and me, she’s a little bit of a helicopter parent.  She follows that puppy around like she’s the puppy!  I think Mattie and Elphie will both be relieved that school is starting in the morning because they are both exhausted.  I expect to be left with a long list of instructions from my daughter about the care and keeping of her new pet tomorrow when I drop her off at school.  It wouldn’t surprise me at all if she didn’t insist on Elphie riding with us to school in the morning.

See, big things already happening in the 3rd grade year, the year she got her first puppy that ate her siblings favorite toys.  I think its going to be life changing.

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And one last little thing to share.

A check came in the mail yesterday.

A check from Allstate for $78.56.  We do not have Allstate insurance, this was instead a property loss reimbursement check on behalf of the boy who hit us in South Carolina’s insurance.  And what sort of property were we being reimbursed for? Why Legos of course! Turns out that it never hurts to ask for things, and when I told the adjuster that Reese’s birthday Legos went all over the place when we were hit and I still haven’t been able to get them all out of the nooks and crannies, a check was cut to cover his “loss”.  I should have also mentioned that all 7 of my daughters’ American Girl dolls had been tragically thrown out the window onto the interstate.  And they, too, needed to be replaced.  That would have been a complete lie, but it sure would have been tempting.  It’s good to know that even your toys are in good hands with Allstate.

Okay, that’s all for now as we have a big day tomorrow.  Goodnight!

A Public Apology

I would like to take a minute to publicly apologize to my daughter, as well as make it perfectly clear to anyone out there who might see her in the next 6 weeks, that I am very aware that her hair does not look anything like it did the day Ms. Nan cut it.

I worried about this, but how do you tell your daughter who is wanting to donate all of her hair to little children who don’t have any, “Maybe you shouldn’t be so thoughtful and giving of yourself sweetie, because your mama doesn’t do hair very well and there’s no way I’m gonna be able to work with what you have left.” I just don’t feel like that goes along with the message I have been working so hard to get across to the kids.  The whole, let’s ask friends to bring donations for things instead of presents for your birthdays, or teaching them about giving things away when they don’t play with them anymore, of how we carry snacks around in our car to give to the homeless folks who stand at the intersections….all that seems like a bit of a waste if I’m going to tell her that she can’t do the one thing she really wants to do because its going to result in a bad hair month.  But boy friends, it’s not good.

Try as I may, I can’t get it to do the swingy, smooth magic that Ms. Nan did.  It’s very poofy and she has cried twice now because she says she looks like one of those boys on the magazines at Target – she’s talking about the teen People and what not that have the boys from One Direction on them.  I have to admit, this morning Mattie did slightly resemble Harry Styles.  And for that, I feel bad.

Hopefully she is learning early that she has difficult hair.  It’s not her fault, I passed it down to her and it’s just like mine.  Not curly enough to just do its own curly thing, like Reese’s, but not straight at all either.  Hair like mine, and now Mattie’s requires some heat to look presentable.  It’s also thin and fine and has to be washed and then restyled almost every day.  Another thing about our pitiful hair is that at least when it’s longer, you can pull it up….but when it’s too short for such hiding methods, I really don’t know……

We worked for 45 minutes today on her hair.  I probably would have worked longer, but then she threw up.  I like to think that the puking had nothing to do with her hair at all and more so with the fact that she ate a really large amount of almost going bad grapes about an hour before we started project hair.  Either way, I feel bad now.

And while we are on the subject of my children and their hair, I am strongly considering taking Lila for her first real haircut.  I know people usually just let little girls hair grow and they don’t have that typical “Baby’s First Haircut” , except maybe their bangs.  But we have a major case of the mullets going on.  I myself suffered from a self-inflicted mullet from about 4th grade to part of 6th and it was just terrible.  No matter what a cool kid you are, funny, smart or how awesome your mom dresses you….people can’t see past the mullet.  It cancels all the good there might be in you, or at least that is how I felt at the time.  I still feel shame when I look back at pictures from those years.  So with all that being said, I can’t do it to my own children.

For now, I have been battling the mullet by putting it in pig tails.  It looks precious, but I fear that with her baby fine hair, daily pulling and stretching it into pigs might be a little hazardous for it.  Plus, at the rate the back is growing, the top will never catch up and it’s just going to get worse.  For those of you that don’t see Lila on a regular basis, she is starting to really strongly resemble Harry from the movie “Dumb and Dumber”. Especially after her daily application of whatever she ate for breakfast.  It’s just not good and with Mattie looking at little off with her hair, I feel like I need to help her out so that my kids don’t start getting reputations.

And before I go, I need to share something that the middle child is doing as we speak.  I don’t know if this makes me a super awesome parent, or if I should feel bad about it like I do my daughters’ hair.  We have a rental car right now while the Acadia is being repaired and it’s a mini van.  Not a cool, swagger wagon like some of my friends have, but rather a bad minivan that sort of looks like I could be delivering something.  It’s very basic beige and yesterday when I dropped Mattie off at her friend’s house, which happens to be in a very swanky neighborhood, I am pretty positive that they thought I was the cleaning service.  This is not a cool rental vehicle.  Nothing like our fun Suburban from last time with the TVs.  But for some reason, Reese loves this thing.  Since it arrived yesterday morning, he ha spent probably a good 3 hours just hanging out in it while it’s parked in the garage.  He really likes the trunk.  It’s deeper than our regular trunk and I guess that’s appealing to a little boy.  He came to me last night with a request, which I said no to, but when asked about it today, I could find no reason not to allow him to take his nap in the trunk of the rented mini van.  So my son  is outside in the garage, with the sliding door open but the trunk hatch down.  Batman soundtrack playing softly in the background on his huge boombox from Brandon’s college days, sound asleep in the trunk.  Is that weird?

I feel like it might be questionable and maybe I shouldn’t have shared.

And on that note, after making you question my parenting and possibly changing your opinion that I had cute kids, here are some photos from Lila and Reese’s photo shoots the other day.

The first portion of our session

Questioning why we are doing this

Little more love

ENOUGH I SAY!!!!!!!!!

I’ve had enough

I am over this

Sister love

On a good day…..

Senior picture

I know it’s all fuzzy and such, but I like it just the same. He’ll probably question my dressing him in red pants in the future. Oh well

Happy Tuesday and Happy Birthday Nene, we love you!