So Happy I Could Cry

* This post was actually written yesterday, but I got side-tracked and forgot to hit the “Publish” button*

Today, ten minutes from the moment that I am typing this, Lila Bird will be turning 2.  And for that reason, I am upset with her.  We made a vow, she and I, on this night 2 years ago that I would try my very hardest to be the best mom I could to her if she would not grow up.  I let her turning 1 last year slide, but this…..this is outrageous!  Who does she think she is?  I know birthdays are a reason to celebrate, but midst all the happy singing and balloons, the candles and the cards that arrive in the mail, I tend to have a sadness sink in to me on my children’s birthdays.

The is a certain sadness, almost a physical ache with their growing up.  You don’t realize it from hour to hour, day-to-day and month to month.  We get caught in our little routine, not noticing that the crawling went from shaky steps to a full toddle and now they expertly follow us up the stairs.  But on birthdays, it’s like the brain takes a few minutes to do a quick review and you are suddenly fully aware of all that has happened in the past 12 months.  It hit me like a ton of bricks as I was changing Lila out of her pj’s this morning, how much of a baby she is not.  She chatted with me and handed me things, followed instructions and had preferences about how I did things.  My baby is still little, still in diapers and still very much attached to her pacifier….but she isn’t a baby anymore.

First pictures as a 2-year-old

Maybe part of the sadness is due to the unknown.  Every day as my little ones get older, they move closer and closer to the great unknown.  Sure, with Mattie, everything was uncharted territory, but I had a pretty good idea about how things were supposed to be and we did okay.  By the time Lila came along, my life had been on repeat for 3 year-long increments.  Not that I am by any means an expert, and each time you add a new kid to the mix, you aren’t exactly getting rid of any of the others so things change-up.  But still, babies I know, toddler I am pretty okay with…..but what comes after that…..I question every day what I am doing with this loaded gun that we call Mattie.

I know there will be no more babies for us.  No more pregnancy, and all the fun that comes with it.  For the most part, I do pregnancy VERY poorly.  But every once in a while, I long for just one day of being about 7 months along.  For having that cute belly and getting to feel those awesome movements of your little one.  I still catch myself being drawn to the maternity section at Gap Kids, just to see.  There will never be the excitement of wondering, “is it time?” and making that exciting trip to the hospital.  And nothing beats that moment when you see your little one for the very first time.  When you see that face you recognize with every fiber of your being, yet you are seeing for the very first time.

I wish that once a year, maybe on their birthdays, we as moms were allowed one hour to go back in time and hold them like they were as infants.  There is nothing in this life that has ever been able to calm me quite like rocking one of my own sleeping babies.

And I suppose it will be the same, this achy feeling in my heart, when they are all teens.  I will look back to the days of rushing home for afternoon naps and the mornings of fixing Mattie’s hair and going over spelling words in the car, of playing cars for hours on end with Reese….and they will seem like a lifetime ago.  And I will long for what I am living right now.

This is the part in this post where I should have something really happy and light to interject.  Where I need to say how this afternoon, I am going to stop and enjoy where we are and what we are doing.  But instead, what I feel like doing is letting out a really long sigh.

Why can’t we enjoy, wallow in, and savor where we are when we are there?  Why does life have to be so that we never quite know what we have until it’s slipped through our fingertips?  There is never a day where we can stop and smell the roses because the rest of the garden constantly needs tending to.

I am so thankful, Lila Bird, that you were born 2 years ago.  You are my baby and are taking your time through life, in no hurry at all, and I appreciate that.  You are a joy to all of us and even with your furrowed little brow telling us “no” about everything, having you around is like having constant sunshine.  I am so proud to be your mama, and the mama to your brother and sister.  As much as I wish for time to just stand still, I know that in order for you to become the person that you were born to become, and do the things that only you can do,  I have to let go just a little.  So even though I don’t like it one little bit, I am wishing you a wonderful birthday.  I am praying that God would continue to bless you as you grow and learn and change into a big girl.  I am excited for you and the milestones that you will be reaching this year.

Just promise me….one night a year….you will let me rock you and for just an hour, you will turn back into a newborn.

One can always wish, right?

Where Do You Work Out?

I have found the ultimate in exercise programs.  I just sort of stumbled upon it today and part of me isn’t sure that I should be sharing it because then it might get really popular and crowded.  I can only imagine, because I have never attempted it, by I’m pretty sure it puts Crossfit to shame.  And those folks that come pouring out of their Bikram Yoga class are missing out.  Pure Barre sounds pretty amazing and kind of beautiful, but still, this discovery of mine…..it’s crazy intense.  The military might even want to consider adding it as part of their boot camp training.

It sounds innocent enough, Pump it up, but it is anything but.  Today we (Reese, Lila and I) took our friend Ben, or as we affectionately call him, Ben Ben to Preschool Bounce Time at Pump it Up.  If you aren’t familiar with this establishment, it is a facility with a set of bathrooms, a few party room and two large gym type rooms full of large, inflatable bounce house type contraptions.  Only these aren’t just bounce houses, there is an obstacle course, a rather large slide and then the jousting house, where kids can bounce around, play bouncy basketball or stand on one of two large, raised circles and hit each other with soft, though still pretty intense jousting weapons.  We had missed Ben Ben’s 5th birthday  back in December, so this was our way of celebrating with him.

Typically, the boys don’t require me for their play.  Fact is, I don’t really like to be a part of it at all because they have hurt me a few times.  They have their own little games going on and mom just really doesn’t need to be a part of it.  But we had the Bird today (that’s Lila) and she wanted me to do things with her.  Or should I say for her.  Technically, she didn’t do anything, she just held on to me.  And this is where the workout comes into play.  I don’t know if you’ve ever tried to maneuver your way through an inflatable obstacle course made for people under 4 ft tall with a full size chimpanzee attached to your body, but it isn’t easy.  Pulling your own weight up these slippery walls of plastic, while wearing socks and carrying this child who is crying because they are equal parts loving and hating the whole thing was probably more difficult than getting her into this world.

And we did this for an hour and a half.

It’s hard being forced against your will to participate in a toddlers indecisiveness.  But I’m pretty sure my abs, thighs and arms haven’t been worked like that in forever!

One moment, where I wasn’t carrying the dead weight up plastic mountains, I was watching the boys play in the jousting house.  They were mainly engaged in a game of something that kind of looked like basketball ball, but also involved a little bit of tackle between the two of them every once in a while.  Let me take a moment right here to say that for those of you that don’t know Reese, there isn’t much to him.  He is not particularly tall, but his hair makes him look taller than he really is.  And he has spindly limbs, but no real trunk at all.  If it weren’t for his long appendages, he would probably still be wearing toddler sized clothes because his actual body is so small.  Ben on the other hand is solid.  Ben is a good friend for Reese to have because I don’t think anyone is ever going to mess with Ben, especially as they get older.  Ben is tall and built like a little tank and I think this is going to be especially beneficial when his baby sister gets old enough to date.  Anyway, Reese and Ben were playing their game and having a great time.  Until the green-shirted boy entered the arena.

He entered through the netting with an agenda.  He never said a word that I could really hear, but he seemed focused on being a part of their game, though not actually playing with them.  More like he came in off the streets of Pump if Up, looking to start a fight.  I was about to go and lug the little one up the slide, kicking and screaming and laughing one more time, but this seemed like something I might need to stay and witness.  The boys, being boys, occasionally threw one of their jousting thingies towards him, laughing in almost an invitation to play with them.  They ran around and near him, the way little boys and dogs at the dog park do to tell each other that they want to play.  But this boy didn’t want to play.  Instead, he would pick up one of the jousting tube things and get this angry, contorted look on his face and charge at one of the two boys when they weren’t really paying attention.  He would lunge at them and almost every time, lose his footing and fall…which would then get their attention and they would laugh hysterically at the fun he seemed to be having.  This only made him angrier.

He would hurl the surprisingly hard basketballs at the boys when their backs were turned and more often than not, miss.  But sometimes would hit them and they would then toss it back, usually hitting him.  I maybe should have stepped in and said something, but I was fascinated with the crazy social experiment going on.  I think my boys finally figured out, when he made shooting gestures at them with his hands and yelled “I hate you both”, that maybe this guy wasn’t playing so much.  The two of them, without saying a word, then sort of started this tag team thing with him.  Taking turns taunting and then tripping him up just enough to not hurt him, but kind of let him know that they weren’t okay with what he was doing.  The whole time there were smiles on their faces while steam poured out of the angry boys ears.

About the time when I was pretty sure the boy was going to turn into the Incredible Hulk or conjure up some sort of Carrie-Esque blood bath to come raining down on them from the rafters, Reese came out of the little opening and happily suggested that they go get a drink.

We didn’t see that boy again until it was time to leave, as he kicked the wall really hard when his mom said that preschool play was over.  It kind of made you wonder to yourself if he should be getting out more often…..or maybe less.  Either way, I was proud of my boys for sticking up for each other without being  rude and hateful or even using the word “poop” because that often happens.

Big life lessons being learned today at the preschool jump time at Pump it Up.

I wish it would be so easy when you get to be grown-ups dear boys.  That people would take notice when they aren’t playing fairly or hitting below the belt.  That folks would serve their time-outs even though they were mad and felt like they had been provoked, but could still see their own error.  Unfortunately, things get very subjective and there is no one to go to when you really feel like “telling”.

But there are friends, and just like they covered one another, when you are a grown-up, your friends will cover you too.  They will shield you and take a hit or help you take your mind off of the troubles that are trying desperately to take aim and throw a doozy at you.  And the really good friends will laugh at your stories, or at least smile, even when they are downright stupid…much like the boys did at one another’s knock-knock and poop jokes.

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And on a completely different note, All of us here at our house would like to take a moment to wish Mumsey the happiest birthday ever.  I can’t imagine this world without her and thank God every day for not only giving me such a wonderful mother, but such an incredible role-model.  If my kids can have half the wonderful childhood that I did, I will be doing great.  If they can go through their teen years feeling half as understood and accepted and loved as I did, then I will have succeeded.  And if they can grow up and become adults and look back and feel half as lucky as I do today, about their mother then I will just be over the moon.

We love you, I love you, so very, very much and wish you a beautiful day and year to come.

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Lastly, I have been wearing my coat all day.  It doesn’t even feel like I’m wearing a huge, bulky, puffy down coat because it is so incredibly cold here.  I took it off while we were at Pump it Up, but other than that, it is like my outer skin.  And I see no reason for it to come off any time soon.

Brandon was offered a very lucrative job in Fargo a few years ago and I will be honest, the weather was one of the biggest reasons why he didn’t take it.  He is a boy from the central coast of California and I, a daughter of the South.  We are not compatible with these temperatures and our check book is not compatible with paying to heat this old house at the temperatures we would prefer…..so instead, we wear huge coats like you see the NFL guys wearing on the sidelines when they play in places like Minnesota or swimmers in the olympics when they aren’t actually swimming.

Please Spring, come quickly!

On The Verge Of Very Big Things

I’m getting close, very, very close to something pretty big.  Something 9 years in the making and I am pretty darn excited.  What am I just so excited about?  What pinnacle am I so close to reaching the top of?  Why, accumulating 5,500 pampers rewards, of course!

I started collecting these “points” found on the inside of Pampers products when I brought Mattie and that complimentary package of preemie Pampers home from the hospital.  I enjoyed the idea of being part of the  pampers village as a brand new mother.  I’m also a pretty good collector and the thought of being able to earn prizes while diapering my child felt like a goal that this new mom could accomplish.  I needed small goals like that…..and obviously still do, 9 years later.  Mattie was out of diapers 20 days shy of her 2nd birthday and I hadn’t really saved up enough points to get something exciting, so I decided to hold on to them for a few more months…because the prizes changed and new things came along.

A few months turned into 42, right about the time I brought home a 2nd complimentary package of preemie Pampers diapers and child.  It was kind of like starting the game Monopoly with a huge win from one of those Chance cards.  Collecting points for the new baby and I already have over 1,500 or so.  I felt pretty confident that I was going to be able to cash these puppies in for something pretty great after a while.

I had enough points for a few magazine subscriptions…still I waited.

The boy wore diapers well past 20 days shy of his second birthday.  I secretly thanked him because this allowed me to store up another year and 20 days worth of Pampers Rewards Points.  He graduated into the big boy underwear that he sports today – literally, it’s probably the same ones because he is such a string bean and only his arms and legs grow – but there wasn’t anything really calling to me from the rewards shopping page.

I decided to wait again…..

Maybe if I would just cash in my Pampers Points, I would stop having children because as I waited and then forgot about  my precious points, I found myself pregnant yet again.  The kebaughman account was fired up again and this time, forget all those small potatoes bath toys and diapers/wipees cases.  I am not interested in you, Ladies Home Journal or even you, Dance With Me Elmo.  I want it all.  I want to go where no person who hasn’t had multiples or own a daycare has been able to go.  I want to purchase that Radio Flyer Tricycle (even though we already have one) with my 5,500 Pampers Points that probably equal close to $1,000,000.00 in diapers purchased over the last 9 years.  And if it means keeping Lila in diapers until kindergarten, by George, I’m gonna do it!

Look at the monster you have created Pampers Village!

In other news…………………

I met this girl 9 years ago

I suppose I knew about her, we were even roommates there for a time, but I really met her 9 years ago on January 21st, 2005.

First sight, when we were roommates

That’s me on the outside and her on the inside

She was the tiniest little person I had ever seen.  She fascinated me instantly and I was drawn to her, magnetized by her in a way I have only ever experienced 2 other times in my life.  She was perfect, a stranger, yet also someone who I would have known anywhere.  Her little hands and feet, the rising and falling of her little chest and the tiny swoop of a nose – all fresh and new, yet oddly familiar as each little piece of her was a mix of her daddy and me.

Official introduction

My heart broke a little that day, not because it was sad and devastated, but because it was filled to capacity and I realized everything else on this earth would forever be paled compared to her.

Our first day together

Happy Birthday to you my girl.  You bring light and happiness to my every morning, just as you did that first morning we met 9 years ago.  May you one day understand how happy you make me just by being here.

As much as I wish time would just stop, I am just as excited to see the woman you will be 9 years from now.

And I can’t wait to cash in our Pampers Rewards points!

What Did You Do Today?

I am behind.  This whole new year thing has kicked me in the behind.  I had the best of intentions.  I was going to be on top of things.  I took a gazillion pictures over my Christmas holiday that I intended to share, pictures of us not at home and I was waiting to share them until we were once again at home, because McGruff the Crime Dog says that you shouldn’t share on the internet when you are away on vacation.  But I’ve waited so long now that I think my Christmas stories and their accompanying pictures wouldn’t really be all that interesting now.

But I still had a plan, I still had writing ideas.  I had it all worked out in my head and on the Monday morning that Mattie was all set to go back to school – I was going to write my novel of a blog post.

Then Mattie didn’t go back to school.

Instead, she had a snow day, which really should have been called a “Cold Day” because that’s all that it actually was.  Granted, it was REALLY cold, like 9 degrees cold, and we are southern people here so it was kind of a big deal.  But still….We had another “Cold Day” then next day.  By Tuesday at lunch, I was beginning to question whether Mattie was still enrolled in school.  The two weeks of Christmas Break went pretty well, as well as having two wild animals in the house that have a love-hate relationship can go.  They had played together, Legoed side-by-side, battled until they both claimed to hate each other and would never speak again, made forts out of everything fortable, and even crafted their weight in paint and glue.  It was time for Mattie to return to school.

That Monday of Disappointment led us to a new game called “Work”, which involved me creating office spaces for my children, making them pretend coffee and Reese drawing his version of the human brain – because that’s what he imagines his father does at work all day.

The girls at the office

A hard day at the office…drawing brains

Had there not been school last Wednesday, I was planning to pack Mattie a lunch, dress her in her uniform and deposit her on her teachers doorstep.  We were back on track, though a few days behind, which meant that I decided to put off all of my “back to school new years plans” until the next week (that would be this current week).

Well, here we are almost finished with this week and what an adventure it has been!

Do you ever find yourself in situations or parking lots and have to just stop and say right out loud, “What in the world am I doing here?” That happens to me way more often that I think it probably should.  Let me give you an example……

So last week Flat Taylor arrived at our house.  Flat Taylor is our little cousin from California’s paper doll version of herself that she mailed to Memphis for a school project.  Flat Taylor needed to be shown around town, have a few photos taken with local landmarks and a little letter written up about what she did while visiting.  Obviously, the husband is too busy with the whole “job” thing to drive around town taking photos of paper cousin and the kids are a wee bit underage, so it has been left up to me.  I suppose I could have just purchased a few postcards from Walgreens from our local touristy places, but that just seemed wrong.

Instead, I have been driving Flat Taylor, as well as the two little ones under 2 (Reese has been at Zoo School this week) around this fine city of Memphis.  The three of us went downtown on Tuesday and took a little tour of the Civil Rights Museum.  It was closed on Tuesday, so we just took some pictures on the outside.  And while we were there, I noticed that one of the best BBQ places in town was right across the parking lot….better take a picture of Flat Taylor with that, too.

Flat Taylor visiting the Civil Rights Museum

I seriously doubt any of the other Flat kids from Taylor’s class will have visited such historic places….I could easily be wrong though

Flat Taylor, I would so take you there to eat but I’m a vegetarian

Flat Taylor at the zoo

Those were all slightly strange places to be with rather odd company on a Tuesday morning, but today definitely took the cake.  Today, I texted my dear friend whose child I keep during the day, and let her know that we wouldn’t be home at lunch time for her usual midday visit.  Instead, the girls and I would be lunching…………..at Graceland.

Waiting for our fries at Graceland. She wore peacocks and M had sequins on her pants – its like they were begging me to take them to see Elvis

How could Flat Taylor come to Memphis and not visit the “King”?

Flat Taylor outside Graceland

We didn’t take the actual tour of the house (though I have done that), mainly because it’s about $35 and honestly, I just wasn’t sure how the girls would feel about going on a tour of an old house.  I hated to think of all these really excited Elvis-fans finally getting to see their idol’s home in all it’s jungle-room glory, and my girls start crying or screeching through the whole thing.  Maybe when they’re a little bit older and can appreciate it as I can only imagine they one day will…….

Lila paying her respects

So we just stood by the gate, visited the gift shops, changed a few diapers, M ate a bottle and Lila and I decided to split a garden burger and fries.  Because it’s Thursday and we live in Memphis and how often do you get to eat next to Elvis’s plane? I got both the girls post cards to put in their babybooks to commemorate their first visit to a celebrity’s house.  I think there are quite a few people, that went on with their days wondering what in the world that lady with the two babies was doing at Graceland all alone.  Not just two babies, but one of them was actually strapped to my body with my coat zipped up over her.

We don’t have blue suede shoes….but if the song was about brown suede moccasins…..

If you’ve ever been to Graceland, you probably noticed that it wasn’t really in a location that you would want to spend a whole lot of time in.  Inside the gates, things are all good, but outside – let’s just say that I was definitely taking the girls on a walk on the wild side (I hope your heard Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch’s song in your head like I did as I was typing this).

Anyway, it was definitely one of those days, one of those moments when I just had to laugh and ask the two nonverbal tourists with me, “What in the world are we doing here?”  After that final diaper change and our trek back to the car in that scary motel parking lot I probably shouldn’t have parked in, we loaded back up and drove to our little neighborhood and life went back to Thursday normal…..and I have smiled all day.  I hope that this is what this new year brings for me, being adventurous and trying new things.  That this will become a pattern, finding myself in unexpected places and instead of asking myself, “What am I doing here?” the question will be, “Where do I go now?”

Thank you Flat Taylor and a few extra snow days for setting me off my previously planned course, who knows, that day trip to Talladega with the kids might not be so crazy after all……..

Saturday Night Topic Salad

Lila has a thing about picking new mothers.  Apparently, I was just a vessel to bring her into this world and she is of the belief that now that she is old enough to walk and reach and have a preference, she will be picking alternative mothers.  She doesn’t dislike me, doesn’t even really seem to want me to be out of her life, she just happens to think that there are a few others who would do just as good of a job.

One of these people is my dear friend Stephanie.  Aunt Steph doesn’t exactly live down the street and though we do see her way more than is probably typical for two people who live in Memphis and North Carolina, she still isn’t exactly a constant in Lila’s every day life.  But when Steph and family stopped at our house to spend the night on their way home from visiting family in Oklahoma for the holidays, Lila took right to calling her “Mama”.  She did this when Steph and the girls came out to visit in October, too.  Just walked right up to her and put her little arms up, stood on her tippies and called for mama.  I thought it may have been a fluke because we were both wearing gray sweatpants….or maybe because Steph’s own girls were calling her “Mama”.  But really, I think it was completely on purpose.

Lila’s other chosen mom is a lady at church.  Amber and her son, a darling tween boy who is just sweet at pie, have sat behind us for forever.  We became “pew friends” and after Lila was born, she began putting in the work to establish a relationship with our new little one.  I have no idea what all was going on behind me head, but it seems as though there was some intense bonding taking place over my shoulder. Now 23 months after her birth, Lila has fallen head over heels in love with Amber.  They have a weekly church date.  The girl who cannot sit still during even the shortest of services, who cannot be pacified with any amount of snacks or toys, will sit completely still – without the aid of even a pack of crayons – through communion when she’s with Amber.

The two of them had a lunch date a few weeks ago at potluck.

Upon entering the sanctuary, Lila seems to do a quick scan for Amber….and we are in trouble if she cannot find her.  Things were pretty rocky today before we finally found the sought after Amber.

Lila cried when Aunt Steph left our house on Thursday.  Stood at the door and boo hooed as they drove away in their mini van, her little heart broken.  And when church is over, poor Amber and her sweet boy stick around until we are ready to leave so that Lila can stay with her up until the very last possible second……because the tears that were shed the last time just about did poor Amber in.

I have no idea why or how Lila picks her people….but so far she seems to have a pretty good eye.  I think I might pick Steph or Amber, too to be my bonus moms…except I’m pretty sure I’m older than both of them.

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Another thing that I will make sure a do differently next year, a little continuation from my last post.  When I am sent a chain letter/ sticker exchange for  my child to participate in , I will definitely chose to participate again. However, next time, I will keep in mind that it is possible that some can interpret my boy child’s name as a girl child’s name.  I will maybe put the word “male” in parentheses so that when it comes time for people to send him stickers, they will select those that maybe are less feminine.

I have to say, I have had a huge laugh out of opening not 1, not 2, but 7 envelopes containing very girlie stickers.  I’m glad that I have been the one to actually open the letters rather than Reese because I’m pretty sure he would be downright offended at some stranger mailing him random Lalaloopsy stickers.  That kind of thing is very upsetting to a 5-year-old boy.  That would be right up there with calling him a baby or saying that he scribble scrabbled while coloring.  Them’s fightin’ words around these parts.

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Yesterday while getting the kids dressed for a fun day of christmas returns, Mattie requested that I dress them all in Narnia clothes.  My first thought was, “What in the heck are Narnia clothes? Should I be looking in the closet for a snow queen dress or a faun suit?” Was she hoping that I would dress Reese in nothing but furry pants and a scarf around his neck? Well, turns out she meant layers and shades of brown – sweater vests and skirts with tights.  She had a real preppy, 1940’s thing going on in her head.

Upon dressing them, I half expected her to instigate a little imaginary play of Narnia – this usually involves me finding the kids parting the clothes in their closets and then quickly running outside to pretend that’s where they came out since our closets are not magical and we don’t have any wardrobes.  Instead, this time the bounded downstairs to play, “Go to Work”.  I guess since they never really see what their father does at work, except that it is through a maze of very tall doors and he has a special office filled with things that we don’t have at home….and I don’t go to work – to them, “work” is their Narnia.  Going to work means you first stop at a little coffee shop, where you order your usual.  I have been meaning to ask Mattie what her “usual” is. Then you stand around for a minute and make small talk about different accounts and patients and that sort of thing.  Reese always carries their drinks and then go and drop Lila off at day care and a few times, I have heard Mattie then talk about how she has a date later tonight but she’s pretty sure he’s not going to be “the one”.  I think maybe I had too many Hallmark Channel movies on in the back ground over her Christmas break, because this play is sounding a lot like the opening plot of one of those.

After they had closed their accounts and seen all their patients, oh and picked Lila up from childcare, we headed out for our errands.  Once in the car, Mattie began wistfully talking about her dreams of heaven.  This is always a fun car conversation and it always makes me smile to hear what’s on my little one’s wish lists for heaven.  This one started with a question of whether or not there would be grocery stores in heaven, which then lead to swimming without having to come up for air and then went right into meeting her deceased great-grandparents.  All this time, Reese was looking dreamily out the window, completely caught up in his own little daydream about what life would be like up in heaven.  Very curious as to what could have him so engrossed, I asked what he was thinking about, to which he replied:

“When I get to heaven…..(deep sigh) I’m gonna ask Jesus to give me…..(pause for effect)…………..a tail!”

A what?

“A tail!” and then immediately right back into his own private thoughts.  No explanation, no expounding on this at all.  What is the boy wanting to do with this tail?  What kind of tail are we talking here?  But forget swimming with dolphins and flying or meeting his Uncle Matt finally – the boy wants a tail.

Resolutions….I Have A Few…..For Next Year Already…..

We are barely into the new year and already, I have learned a few lessons.  I have already made a small list of “won’t do that next year” experiences and we haven’t even complete a full week yet.

My first lesson is to avoid these at all cost:

No matter how fun they look and no matter how much I want to because I had them as a little girl and they were wonderful, I must resist.  For these are a horrible practical joke that Crayola has decided to play on parents across the country.  Bath crayons, yes they are that….but washable…I think they might be stretching that a bit.  Well, I take that back, yes they are definitely washable…..just like a grass stained pair of jeans is by all means washable…..but will the stain come out……now that is a completely different story.

You can wash and scrub for hours on your bathroom walls after your child has created a masterpiece while bathing.  Crayola – you are right on….your Bath Time Crayons are 100% “washable”.  But I wouldn’t say that they are removable, and really, I think that was a little bit more of what I was looking for.  In their defense, however, my tiled bathroom walls have been painted and that could have had something to do with the tenacity of said “crayons”.  It could have, but then again, it was just as difficult for the vibrant art work to be removed from the porcelain tub.

Actually, while scrubbing I began to imagine that the whole reason these bathroom tile walls had been painted in the first place was because the previous mother that lived here with her 4 small children, may have also purchased Crayola Bath Time crayons as a stocking stuffer.

Maybe I’ll tuck these little pretties away and then pull them out again when we go out-of-town,  use them in the hotel bath…I’m sure they would appreciate that very much.

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Next year I will also probably not let Mattie anywhere near any sort of animal that could even possibly be considered as a pet.  Here over a week later, the girl is still speaking of her unrequited love for Uncle Marvin’s pigeon family….which she named in the miniscule amount of time that they were boarding with us.  When they were first picked up by their new owner, Mattie flung herself into the house, the tears already flowing like a small river and then she collapsed into a pile of girl drama that could have rivaled the best child actors in the business.  Through her tears and sputters, she lamented that this man would never love the pigeons like she did and how he didn’t even know their names.  He probably didn’t even know that they were two boys and a girl – a mom, dad and their son – a regular little family.

Thanks to Google, Mattie has it all figured out how she is going to get her very own little pigeon family, maybe even birdnap the ones that went to live with Reggie in Arkansas.

I didn’t see that one coming, transporting pigeons across state lines, to be able to prepare myself for it.  But next year……..Oh next year, I will definitely have a game plan for how to deal with Mattie’s grieving period….even if it is over a pigeon.

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Also, in the tiny half week that we have already experienced in 2014, I have had about 5 McDonald’s Apple Pies.  I am not proud of that. Next year, I definitely will not eat more pies than there are days.