I Am Clueless and Thankful

Happy Thanksgiving!  I hope everyone reading this is as stuffed and happy as I am right now.  We are just coming off of almost 48 hours with Nene, Papa and a house full of food.  It has been lovely.  The turkey, potatoes and green bean casserole ran out today though, so life will start getting back to normal by tomorrow.  It was fabulous while it lasted.

The kids kicked off the festivities with their school-wide Feast Of Thankfulness.  They are encouraged to dress like early Americans, because dressing up is fun.  Mattie went with her native American roots…..Reese on the other hand, well, we were lucky that he got this involved.

My squaw and my son

 

You don’t mess with the school uniform.  It is set in stone and not to be trifled with.  His teacher, on the other hand, really gets into her dressing up.  Rumor has it that just hours after sitting for a huge oral presentation required for completing her Masters Degree, rather than going home and celebrating or even sleeping, Mrs. Wilhelm threw herself into making that bonnet.

Reese and his first love (other than his mama) and that’s just as it should be.

The highlight of our Wednesday, Thanksgiving Eve, was an all evening long Hallmark-Movie-Channel-a-thon.  My kids know my kryptonite – cuddly children who aren’t arguing or complaining, my comfy couch nest and the cheesy goodness of a Hallmark movie – I will not move (or make them move and go to bed) for days.  We ended up watching 3 movies in a row and not going to bed until 1 a.m.  I think it has, so far been one of the best moments in Kaylee/Mattie history.  And Thursday morning, the whole crew slept in for as long as we wanted, no alarms went off, nowhere to be.  Only a 4 hour parade that needed to be watched was on the agenda.

I know it probably sounds terrible to say this out loud, but when it started to snow, and the majorettes in the marching bands started to slip and fall – that was one of our favorite parts.  It really added an element of suspense to the otherwise happy and cheery parade.  Lila loved the whole thing!  This is definitely looking to be the her “Golden” season of holiday wonder.  She is loving everything and even applauded when dinner was served later that day.

Whatcha’ doing there Papa?

Our Black Friday was spent again sleeping in, enjoying some Turkey Day leftovers for breakfast, and spending the morning taking it easy and not getting out of our comfy clothes until after noon.  We did make one little trip to pick up some early Christmas presents – because grandparents like to see their grandbabies open and enjoy Christmas gifts in person – and made a little pit stop at a random scrap metal collector’s treasure trove.  That one might require a little explaining…..

There is a place, near my house, that has both confused and fascinated me.  There are all sorts of old, metal, train, did I say old…….. paraphernalia in what looks to be a yard.  It’s free to anyone who wants to stop and peruse, and sits on a very picturesque bit of land.

Lila was not as comfortable with all the metal and such and preferred to be carried.

Kids and Nene investigated a filled in well

Mattie’s little imagination could go wild in a place like this. I can see her growing up to be the old lady that looks after a lot like this one.

Weird Reese and his mother selfie

 

Mattie adores this guy

The lighting is gorgeous for picture-taking and if your kids (or dad) likes old metal things, this little place is a must on your next visit to Germantown, Tennessee.  The kids had a great time climbing on the caboose and dad always like an opportunity to wow us with his knowledge about things like antique gas pumps.

Getting a little train “did you know” from Papa

I was there, too

My pistol on a cannon

“See Lila, we can play on the train tracks because we are still short enough to fit under here safely.”

Nene and Papa and their littlest people

They are beginning to think they are too cool for mom’s picture taking

Because this is certainly not what our gas pumps look like now!

Mattie on a train

I also got the opportunity to do a tiny bit of “muddin’ with my SUV, which didn’t end with me getting stuck.  I think every town should have a place like this for people to stop at between shopping stops.  My boy, especially, seemed to appreciate it.

Today we went to the park.  I know that doesn’t sound like much, and I’ll be honest, I didn’t really think it would keep my now 4-days home w/out anything pressing to do kids entertained for long.  But Friends, I had forgotten how great a park, with more than one adult as supervision, can be!  We spent the afternoon there, just playing.

She is little, but mighty…..and still can use a tiny bit of help.

This looks like sisterly love, but it’s really Mattie restraining Little from going after that Goose

Sisters on a slide

Thank you photographer Mattie for this little jewel

Mr. Reese and Mr. Reese

Running, chasing geese, climbing (lots of climbing!!!!) and Reese finally got to play catch with his football in a “field” bigger than our spare bedroom.  The grandparents definitely paid their grandparent dues, with all the playing, loving, cuddling and letting their children get a little extra sleep during their visit.

Come back here, Goose! I just want to love you!!

Really Goose, how much harm can a tiny girl like me cause a big Goose like you?

Hold very still there Mr. Goose

Loving, LOVING the telephone thingy at the park

We were definitely sad to see their car pull out of our drive-way.  But so thankful that we live so close, that these special holidays can be shared with grandparents.  Usually, not a month goes by without a visit from or to the “Grands” of our family.  It probably helps that they have so many.

And now, we are in the final hours of what we here in our house consider the Thanksgiving Season.  Christmas has yet to make its appearance and I’m trying to squeeze the last of my Thanksgiving Holiday in with my little family – we don’t like to rush into Christmas until the Sunday after – and we are enjoying some Ben & Jerry’s and Punkin Chunkin’ on The Discover Channel (Our traditions are sometimes questionable).

I am so thankful for my little life.  Even at what seems like it’s worst, I am still reminded of how much I have to be thankful for.  This is a little something that sits by my kitchen sink, and though it is primarily referencing dishes and food, I think it can be generalized for almost every area of my life.

“Thank heaven for dirty dishes they have a tale to tell, while other folks go hungry, we are eating very well. With home and health and happiness, we shouldn’t want to fuss. By this stack of evidence, God is very good to us.

The things that I might consider “work” are actually proof of my blessings.  The laundry that the kids will carry downstairs tomorrow and will create a sea on the floor as it is sorted – we are blessed.  The three little people, those precious little unexpected miracle, who came unexpectedly and unplanned, who are happy, healthy and call me “mama” – I am blessed more than I deserve.  When my husband doesn’t come home until way after bedtime Monday night because he is working late, because he has more patients than he can keep up with during the normal workday – we are blessed.  Because we have a house to have to buy a warranty for – we are blessed.  Because we have family to coordinate visits, gifts and such with – we are extremely blessed.  And because my days are spent tending to trivial things like grocery shopping, after school activities, and what to do about the moles in the backyard, instead of if I can manage to feed all 3 of my kids, will the treatment work, and where we might be able to sleep tonight – I have no idea how much I have to be thankful for.

Poop and Ice Cream

We went to the park yesterday.  Its been terribly cold for the last few days, (probably not cold if you are used to the 30’s, but seeing as we live here in the land of the Delta Blue, I cannot say that we really are) and it was wonderful to finally get to be outside and play.  We also went with our dear Nelson friends and that was enough to have made the time wonderful,  even if it had still been 30 degrees out.

Then a bird pooped on my head.

I’ve never had it happen before, but it has weighed on my mind for quite some time.  When I was just 6, school had just started for me – one day out on the playground at recess my friend Ellen’s sister got pooped on and it scarred me.  I never before realized that could happen to a person and now that I saw that it definitely could, I also realized that there was absolutely no way to prevent it.  The rest of my life would be spent wondering if today would be the day.  How long would it be before it was my day?  Please let it be a no big deal kind of day!  Maybe when I was at the pool, that would work.  Or maybe when I was wearing a hat…perfect.  Please don’t let it be on my first day of high school, walking to class.  Any time talking to a cute boy would be bad.  And I can’t believe I dared get married outside now that I think about it, with this very real fear I had!

Turns out my fateful day would be 29 years later.  At the park, with my family and a friend armed with baby wipes.  I’ll take it.  Now lets hope that it’s something that only has to happen once in a person’s life.

************************************************************************************************************************

In other news, Mattie got her test results back.  I will be really honest, I was expecting probably around a B-.  A solid B would be great, but I was bracing for lower.  Little Girl completely blew me out of the water by handing me an A++! Forty-seven over 45!  What in the world?! I’m not completely convinced she didn’t cheat, but I also have no idea how she could have, so I will take it.  We were heading to Ben & Jerry’s anyway for our Friday afternoon snack, but because of her completely annihilating that test, she got a sugar cone dipped on chocolate.  I don’t believe in paying or bribing for grades, but a chocolate dipped cone seemed completely fair.  We have rediscovered our love for good ol’ Ben & Jerry’s, and for the last two weeks now, we have made it our special Friday treat.  The kids love the ice cream and foosball table, and since they get out of school a whole hour before all the other schools on Fridays, they have the place to themselves.  Which also means Mattie gets to play entertainer and dazzle us all with her piano skills – by us, I mean myself and the two employees.  They have a sweet, out of tune piano in the corner that anyone with actual skills is allowed to play, but when its packed with 6-10 year olds that would love nothing more than to bang around on it, the piano is off-limits.  But when you’re the only one there………she actually took her piano books this past week and did her practicing there.

Lila also loves the giant cows and talks to them lovingly.

Moooo

I have also enjoyed being reunited with one of my first real loves, Chunky Monkey.

************************************************************************************************************************

 

Johnny Appleseed

I strongly remember having tests in school when I was little.  I know that there was always a math test at the end of the chapter, it was usually only a page long and the actual test was in the book so technically, I could have practiced it for days.  But that idea never crossed my mind.  I had Social Studies tests that might require me to bring my book home the night before and re-read the whole chapter, answering the questions at the end of the little sections again.  And the English tests were much like the math tests, just the last page in the chapter.  I don’t know that I ever actually learned the rules about why certain words don’t go with other and what the exact definition of “dependant clause” – but usually you could just sort of say the sentence in your head and figure out the anser they were wanting. Only on very rare occasions did I have to bring the big guns, this Mama’s Mama, in to help me.  Her method usually consisted of making me flash cards and the occasional song to help me remember things. I feel like my childhood education experience didn’t adequately prepare me for the future.

And by the future, I am not talking about college or my (short-lived) career.  I’m referring more to the educational career of my 4th grader.  The whole Baughman family has been eating, breathing, dreaming the content of Mattie’s Science review sheet for the past few days.  Reese is probably the only kindergartener in his class that can rattle off the life cycle of a butterfly or knows that an adolescent grasshopper is actually a nymph.  I wish he could actually write, because I would love to see how he would do if he was allowed to take her test, too.  I, myself would kind of like to ask Ms. Katie if she has a copy so that I could take it.  I sent Mattie off this morning, with a warm bowel of oatmeal in her belly, a full nights rest and prayers that Jesus would help her to remember all that she had studied.  And then I got a little nervous – like somehow she was taking this test for all of us, she was our ambassador and I just hoped she kept it together under pressure because Reese and I were counting on her! I am fighting the urge right now to text her teacher and she how she did, not so much because I have such high expectations of her….it’s just kind of consumed my life for a few days.

In other educational news of the Baughmans – Reese’s teacher has outdone herself again.  A note was sent home a bit ago informing us parents that they didn’t need to bring a lunch yetsterday…it would be provided.  Turns out the kids were having a “Fall Day” where they would be celebrating all things autumn.  There were of course your typical activities like crafts adorned in red, yellow and orange, but then there was also a jar of homemade (school made) applesauce, complete with a little fabric square in the lid……and they actually made it. And this special in class-lunch, they had a “campfire” in the middle of their classroom and made hotdogs and s’mores.  I think Mrs. Wilhelm’s panini maker was actually used in the roasting process, but still…I’ve seen the pictures and the kids are gathered around what appears to be an actual flickering campfire.  I didn’t ask her how she did it.  I don’t want to ruin the magic.

Mr. Applesauce himself

My kindergarten teacher got pregnant and left us for the better part of the year, (with a substitute of course).  I’m thankful that Reese’s experience in the ‘garten will have some bigger highlights than mine did.

When I picked the kids up from school yesterday, Aunt Shannie/ Mrs. Wilhelm was kind enough to share an extra jar of applesauce with Birdie.  That little mason jar full of goodness has become that girl’s new prized possession.  She took it with her to Reese’s basketball practice even and when she did finally eat some of the applesauce, she insisted on eating it right out of the jar.  the original, freshly made applesauce is gone, but I have refilled it twice today alone with the store-bought kind.  Who knew that Lila would be such a sucker for packaging?! This makes me kind of concerned about her buying/ eating/ dating habits in the future.

No bowls here, she’ll just saddle up to the whole jar.

And it’s gone…for the first of three times today. Notice the Pipi Longstocking braid!!!

************************************************************************************************************************

Today for lunch, we met Brandon in the clinic’s parking lot to enjoy Food Truck Thursday.  Probably not the healthiest lunch choice but I think it’s better than what Bird and I did on Tuesday.  I don’t want to actually say what out loud what our lunch was, but I will show a picture.

The Domino Cookie is like one, big, giant cookies and cream Hershey’s kiss

We also decided to go see what would happen if Lila visited Santa Clause.  My other children have had very adverse reactions to the poor man, but Lila hasn’t really had an opportunity to make an opinion one way or another.  Mainly due to the fact that her brother won’t let us get anywhere near a bearded man in a red velvet suit.  Even the promise of candy has no effect on him.  I’m proud of that one, not necessarily for his prejudice towards Santa but for not being easily bought.

Lila agreed that she would go and see him, and I could love to know what she was expecting in that little head of hers.  Because when we arrived at his little set up, she seemed visibly taken aback.  You could almost see the little thought bubble appear next to her head that read something like, “What in the Heck is that man wearing and why are we here?’ She seemed to soften slightly towards him when his little elf companion brought to her attention that Lila and Santa had matching pants.  “Well, if our pants match, he must not be too bad.” That’s a motto she probably shouldn’t live by either.  She was in no way going to even entertain the thought of sitting next to him.  But she did oblige us by walking in the vicinity of him, and letting him hand her a candy cane….then she gave him a fist bump.  I had my phone out, as though to try to take a picture, and his holiday handler lady let me know that she couldn’t let me take pictures of little ones with Santa, unless I planned on purchasing a package.  However, if I just happened to have my camera out, because I might be planning to buy a package but my child wouldn’t cooperate and captured the moment of her walking up to him…..that would be okay.  Got it lady, thank you for letting us cheat the system.  But truth be told, I didn’t really want Birdie to cozy up to the big guy anyway.  All the work I have put into the kids regarding not taking treats from strangers and certainly not getting close and comfy with a stranger who offers you treats, would have been in vain.  I’m sure you’re a nice man Santa, but your still a stranger bribing my babies to sit on your lap with the promise of candy.  We just don’t do that.

I will take your candy, sir but that’s it!

I better go now.  I have been wearing a sweater all day that I absolutely love, but never wear.  I remembered why I never wear it when I got out of the car and caught my reflection.  Looking down at my own body, it seems to fit.  If feels like it fits and the size tag in the bag says that it fits.  But it is entirely too short and though I’m not showing any skin, it’s all sorts of unattractive.  I hate that I met Brandon’s big boss wearing what looked like my daughter’s sweater.  I hope they don’t judge him too harshly for it.  My shoes were cute though, so hopefully that at least says that I try, and this was just an oversight.  I need to change before I pick up the kids or Mattie won’t go into Target with me and we need paper towels.

I’ve Got Nothin’

There is absolutely nothing for me to write about, but because it’s been a few days, I feel like I need to put something here.  We had a lovely weekend – Mumsey and Poppy came to visit.  It has been quite some time since we saw them and for the most part, we spent the entire 36 hours or so just cuddling on the couch.  Mumsey missed her grandbabies.

I dressed them all in somewhat coordinating outfits for church, but forgot to take any pictures.

The only pictures I did take of the weekend were things that looked like this:

I suppose it’s a pretty accurate depiction of things.

Our weekend ended with a pile of laundry, watching the last NASCAR race of the season, consoling Reese when it was over and then ceremoniously putting away all of his cars until February 22.  I seriously doubt that they will stay put away until after the new year, but considering how broken-hearted he felt when the checkered flag fell…..sometimes your heart just needs to make a big statement to get over the first initial stings.

We have been praying for the last two nights that Jesus would guide Kevin Harvick (the 2014 Champion), the he would be a good ambassador for the sport of NASCAR and that he would use his new power and influence to do good things for the world around him.  Use your status wisely Mr. Harvick, we will be watching you.

**************************************************************************************************

This has nothing to do with my past weekend, but if you need some fun little stocking stuffers I might have just the thing for you.

I have mentioned her handiwork here before, but I think these latest are my favorites.  Lila has bangs that are too long to be considered actual bangs, but I don’t want to cut them……because I don’t know how to style bangs in any way except for something reminiscent of this:

I do not know this woman, I just found her picture when I googled “awesome 80’s bangs”. She should be extremely proud of her accomplishments!

 

I don’t think anyone wants to see this happen.  So because of this, we require clips to secure her not yet grown our hair.  And if you’re going to wear a “daily” clip, you may as well make it fun.  And these are just about as fun as you can get!  Not only are they adorable, but Ramona came bring to life any felt hair clip dreams you might have.

Inspiredbyfaith3 on Etsy.  You’re welcome

**************************************************************************************************

One last thing, because I have nothing new to write about.  I realized that I had taken a few pictures at the zoo.  Nothing of animals and nothing really to even indicate that we were at the zoo – but they are still pretty fabulous photos just the same.  This one in particular just makes me laugh, it’s like seeing Reese in the future as an adult.  Sipping his coffee, wearing his skinny jeans, it seems that he will be growing up to be a hipster.

It was hot chocolate, just so you know…..he only gets actual coffee during the week. Totally kidding

And this one of Reese and Landon just kind of reminds me of Home Alone, if Kevin had also had a little sister and another of his friends had also been left unsupervised.

And here is their group photo.  Years from now, I won’t even be able to tell you which kid is which because it’s so far away and they are all dressed the same.  But it makes me smile just the same because when I see this picture, I remember how the kids would disappear into the hay because it had sat there for over a month and had been rained on.  They eagerly climbed up onto the hay mountain, and then just randomly, one would disappear here and there.  They had to sit ever so carefully and not move, otherwise the whole thing would just crumble.

This was just moments before Mattie began puking in the bushes.  Good times!

For The First Time in Days, My Washing Machine is Silent

*This was actually written on Wednesday, but the internet was weird and I wasn’t able to publish it until now.

 

I never wanted to be in the medical field. As children, most of us have pretended to tend to the aches and pains of our friends, family and/or animals. That has never been the case with me. I have a great respect for all of our health care providers and I have always looked up to them, but I have NEVER even entertained that idea as a possibility in my future. My mother is a nurse, my stepmother a nurse, my father a paramedic…they probably would have been very supportive had a chosen to go in this career direction. But I did not.

 

I chose to become a teacher, which looking back, I’m not really sure why I did that one either, but whatever. If nothing else, I feel like I majored in early childhood development so that I would have a tiny understanding of why these little people act they way they do. That is neither here nor there. My point is that it is not my bliss to care for the sick and injured. Though these past few days have been very involved, very hands-on and I have most certainly tapped into a certain skill set that I do not use very often. I am ready to go back to my old life.

 

It has been 5 days since Lila vomited on me during the church service on Saturday. I have come to grips that my favorite church dress is gone. I was hoping that maybe I could save it by taking it to the dry cleaners – but I figured when I started seeing holes forming in the silk – it was most likely a goner. And even if it had been cleaned to like-new status, I think everyone would recognize it as the puked on dress. I can imagine that each time I wore it, others would be uncomfortable and I would probably spend the duration of our time together concerned that I still smelled like goldfish smothered in stomach acid.

I have since found my dress on eBay and am strongly considering purchasing it, but I think people would think it was the same one and even though I would know it was fresh and clean – others would not. I would feel compelled to start every conversation off with “By the way, this is a completely different dress that looks exactly the same…..”

 

So, I suppose dress shopping is in my future.

I do not really enjoy dress shopping, especially in the winter because it seems like the makers of dresses don’t understand that it’s winter and that means it’s colder…..which usually means sleeves would be nice. Why don’t they make dresses with sleeves in the winter? I would love to wear a snuggie to church every week from October to March every year. I think that would be wonderful!

 

I can’t wait to be an old lady and do things like wear those long, electric blanket looking nightgown things in public and no one bat an eye. I also plan to wear wigs instead of actually fixing my hair. And really out there, obviously not my own hair wigs – so that my family and other old people friends will be not at all surprised to see me go from a deep raven bob to a platinum blonde pixie – whatever looks prettier with the mumu I am wearing that day.

And hopefully, when I become an old woman, these people who I have played Dr. Mom for (and Dr.Wife by the way….yeah, the husband folded on me and gave into the Axis of Evil yesterday) will remember this particular fall when selecting a home for me. Or maybe they will at least remember it when Mother’s Day comes around. I thought about keeping my vomit encrusted dress to hang out on our little banner rod on Mother’s Day weekend. It would be a flag of battle, much like the American flag that is depicted in “The Star Spangled Banner”. It would be a reminder to all that drove by (and especially those who live here) that some hard-core, in the trenches mothering had taken place this year.

Both of my men fell prey to the plague

The couch wore a cover for the week and Lila had to be held at all times

I will leave you with some pictures of the life and times of Kaylee these past few days, as I have to leave now to take a Clorox shower because I don’t want to contaminate anyone else when I go and pick Mattie up from school. The troops are feeling a little less peaked today and we need to go out and gather more disinfecting wipes, dish soap and sparkling cider. I do not drink, but I reached a particularly dark hour the other night and polished this guy off in about 3 hours start to finish.

I switched from my regular Coke to holiday cider to deal with the stress

If anyone pukes tonight, I am reaching for the real stuff.

I was her bed for the better part of 4 days

You throw up in the night, you get a free ticket to sleep on mom’s bathroom floor

This was my view for what felt like hours. Sitting on the bathroom floor, cozied up next to the toilet with a Baughman Baby on my lap…..Clorex wipes close by.

Tuckered out in the big bed

 

Sickie Selfie

*And as a side note, I wasn’t able to adequately acknowledge my Uncle Tom’s birthday yesterday. So if you are reading this Uncle Tom, or someone else who knows my Uncle, could you relay the message to him. Happiest of birthdays, we wish we could be there in person to give you hugs and kisses (though you probably do not because I think my home was a test facility for some sort of CDC weapon of mass Destruction. In a survival of the fittest situation, I guess we have seen who would win.) and we wish you a beautiful year to come.

Looking Back On The Situation…..

Looking back, it probably wasn’t the best idea for us to go to the zoo this morning. That being said, let me start at the very beginning of this adventure so that you understand why our little family found ourselves at the zoo at all, and then we can journey together to this point that I am at now….sitting on my couch with my kitchen rug outside on the deck and thinking to myself that we really should not have gone to the zoo today.

Today was a school day. It was also Sunday, but we were having a school-wide trip to the zoo, families were encouraged to attend and attendance would be taken. We had really been looking forward to this little trip because A) no one else would be at the zoo except for us early on a Sunday morning and it would be kinda of like having our own private visit and 2) even though my mom friends and I feel like we tour the zoo weekly, it’s not very often that all the dads get to come to and I think we are kind of fond of having our husbands around. We were excited about zoo day. Then yesterday Lila erupted.

She only had one other “episode” in the night and ended up sleeping peacefully on my bathroom floor (on a very cozy memory foam bathmat) until about 7:45 this morning. Though we didn’t really discuss it, I think Brandon and I both kinda felt like we would just put her in the stroller and though she might not be particularly congenial to those around us, she would be fine. Give her June (her blanket) and maybe indulge her with her pacifier, and everything would be fine. Then when we woke up and found that the power was out, it seemed like a no-brainer. There was no way one of us would stay here at home in the cold house with the maybe not even still sick kiddo. Off to the zoo!

The weather was lovely. The company was fantastic. We even just happened to stumble upon the sea lion show just as it was happening – perfect timing. Our kids were even, for the most part, angels. It really was a unicorn of a trip to the zoo….it was a unicorn of a day, actually. This is also where I would like to go WAY off course and say that my pseudo brother Jason has been home alone with the kids this week while his wife had some important baby shower business to attend to. I can’t speak for the rest of his parenting in her absence, but wow! He did a fabulous job on little girl’s hair. I meant to take a picture of it and send it to his wife….meant to….but really, it was remarkable. I said all sorts of flowery, proud of him things, really trying to express how impressed I was at him even attempting in the first place. All of this in hopes that maybe just once; my own darling husband might attempt even a ponytail in our daughters’ hair. That is the chain that leaves me tied to my house, I am fearful of the state of my girlie’s hair should I leave over night.

Anyway, all this to say that we were having a lovely time and even though I think we were all a little worried that 3 hours at the zoo was going to be maybe a little painful, at 12:45 when we were finally moseying up to the entrance I was still having a ball. That is until friend Sara came rushing up to me, her phone in her hand (I think she was about to try and call me) to let me know that Mattie was puking in the bushes.

Awesome.

And as I raced through the rest of Primate Canyon, I spied my eldest being held by the fearless “Auntie Donna” (she is a CSI person so a little child vomit is nothin’ to her) and just finishing up a good, sound round of heaving. Poor thing, my usually caramel colored baby girl was eerily green. But on the plus side, she said she felt tons better and before we were back in to our cars – she was back to running and chasing and squealing. All signs that your 9 year old is feeling fine.

And with that convincing performance, we set out to have a little brunch with framily at a nearby place that has delish strawberry butter and fancy coffee.

We were being seated, passing through the busy counter area, just passed the main dining area and were about to make our way down the short stair case to our table when Mattie turned around with a look of absolute panic on her face. I also noticed that her mouth looked full. Oh bad words! The poor thing was throwing up again and this time she was afraid to actually open her mouth. Brandon was closest, he would have vomit duty this time, but they were all the way across the dining room from the restrooms. So they stood there together in the corner right by what appeared to be the office, and while still holding Lila he shielded her from watchful eyes as she vomited up the last of her stomach contents and a half a bottle of water.

It was terrible and precious all at the same time.

She was understandably mortified – now having lost her cookies in the bushes in front of her whole student body and now in a very crowded, popular brunch location. Much to her relief, Aunt Shannie waited for us to order a Sprite and then whisked her away to their house, which is just around the corner. Shannie is part angel I am convinced and when I get to heaven and am finally introduced to my guardian angel, I will be not at all surprised if it looks remarkably like my son’s kindergarten teacher. She saved the day and allowed me to have a nice little lunch and when we went to fetch Matilda, once again, she appeared good as new.

She was not.

To make a very long afternoon shorter and less disgusting, let me just say that I didn’t even make it into the house upon our return before her saltines and apple sauce were deposited on the living room floor. She was sent immediately to bed. Lila too, just for good measure because I don’t trust her anymore.

They both woke up after very long naps and after Brandon had left me to go back to the office and catch up on some things. Mattie woke up and curled up beside me on the couch. Lila woke up crying. Turns out her stomach ailments had traveled south and rather than vomit, she was now dancing with diarrhea. Thankfully, we made it to the toilet before the real show started and the clean up wasn’t nearly as involved as it could have been. But as I walked downstairs to take up my post in the laundry room, I found a Mattie with her arms wrapped around the guest toilet in a now familiar embrace.

It appeared to be starting again. This time with the two of them tag-teaming me. Not far girls, not far.

And this is how the evening went on. The two of them taking turns, keeping me on my toes….and sometimes my knees……and running through an obscene amount of Clorox wipes because if you’re already sitting on the bathroom floor, you might as well clean up while you’re there. And though it looked like Mattie was sticking with vomit and Lila would be exploding from the other end – right after switching out a load of laundry, Lila pranced into the kitchen and took the rug out in one easy shot.

And that is why the kitchen rug is now on the back deck, waiting to be hosed down in the light of day and when it isn’t 30 degrees outside. Our couch is tarped in an older quilt, waiting for the carnage that I am pretty positive tomorrow will bring. And even though the boy says he feels fine, before he went to bed I had him clean up his room so there isn’t a single Lego on the floor. I did this because every fiber of my being believes that I will be running in to his room at some ungodly hour of the night, being beckoned by that horrible cry that can only come from a sick child. The wail of “Mama” that makes you spring from you bed into action even though you are exhausted. I know I will be making a middle of the night dash into his room. I know I will wear my son’s dinner on my clothes, as well as some stomach acid….I just don’t want to break my ankle getting to him.

Clear a path

Trashcans by everyone’s bed, towels across the pillows and a diaper on Lila….and a Lego and Hot Wheel-free path to get to the boy’s bed. I am ready to take my nap before the late show begins.

But it seemed like a good enough idea to go to the zoo…at the time.  What can I say, I tried.

I Feel like I Earned Some Sort of Badge Today

Lila has rediscovered her swing set outside lately.  This makes me happy because it is a fixture in our backyard, bolted into the yard by some pretty permanent looking rebar, and not going anywhere any time soon.  I’m glad it’s getting some use.  But after spending a crazy amount of time out there yesterday, most of it with me still wearing my bathrobe, I bribed her to get out of her swing with the promise of going to a real park later after we picked up the big kids.

All day, she would remind me “Pak latah wif bubby and sissy?” Yes Lila, park later with Bubby and Sissy.

And park we did.

Not too terribly far away from our house is a park that doesn’t seem to get nearly as much love as it should.  It has one of those really incredible playsets with all sorts of climbing things for my ape-like oldest child and slides, so many slides! I’m not saying where it is because I don’t want the rest of you to find it.

Lila did some swinging in the a big kid, regular person swing and I was so proud.  She was the first of her siblings to not let go out of excitement and go tumbling out.  The other two had a rough go at no-contained swinging the first few times….and probably a few extra concussions because of it.  By kid three, we are finally getting the hang of some things like safety.

I say that, but then again, that’s not true at all because while Lila was excelling at swinging without a seat belt, Mattie was doing circus tricks on a monkey bar thing that was no less than 10 feet tall.  Truly, I’m not making that up. I sent a video of her “skills” to her father and just told him to go ahead and meet us at the children’s hospital….I figured we would be there eventually.  Somehow, we made it through yet another round of Mattie the jungle girl without anything broken.

Visualizing her routine

I was just waiting for her to go all the way around!

We also made a wonderful discovery, on a random Friday afternoon there was a horse-jumping-running-people-wearing-tight-pants event also going on at the park.  This park happens to be home to the local polo grounds and show arena….doesn’t every little town have polo grounds and a show arena?

The girls LOVED it, but Reese seems to have a very real fear/ uncomfortableness with horse jumping.  Taking him to a steeplechase event would probably be a very bad idea.  He kept asking over and over, “why are they making them do that?” I have to admit, I really don’t know the answer to that one, Reesie.

It was a lovely, fall afternoon.  One of those kinds where I sit on the swings admiring my little people, and start to think that I’ve got things under control and I lead a very wonderful and slightly perfect life.

Then this morning, Lila woke up and things only went downhill from there.

She began her decent down the stairs with crying and an eventual collapse followed by some weird spitting, choking, gagging that resulted in 3 little piles of slobbery something on the ground.  She also let us all know several times that her tummy hurt her.  I just chalked it up to her being a little constipated and when she finally spent some quality time on the toilet….I thought we were good to go.

We went on to Sabbath School this morning and she had a great time playing farm with her bestie Layla.

And couldn’t get enough of those story time goldfish!

Church started and things went pretty normal.  She fussed with her brother regarding his usage of crayons, looked at pictures on Brandon’s phone and eventually came over for some snuggles with mama.  I happily obliged, and her heavy little eyes seemed so tired, even though she couldn’t quite seem to get comfortable. Just as the sermon was getting very interesting, her little face looked up at mine and without a sound….she covered us both in artificial cheesy vomit….3 times.  It was the  most graceful vomiting I have ever been a part of.  It wasn’t until heave number 3 that those around us started to take notice and watched with horrified, paralyzed looks.  I knew they wanted to help me, but how? And she was still erupting! Brandon whispered at me to get up, but he didn’t realize that the little handful of Lila-Juice I was holding was only the least of my worries.  Together, she and I were acting as a dam, containing a vomit tsunami and the slightest move would send it rushing.  We were handed some paper towels, perfect.  They acted as another layer of dam and though it did nothing to actually absorb the problem, we were at least able to get out of the sanctuary.

We made it to the restroom and I will admit, I just stood there for a minute really completely perplexed at what to do next.  It seemed like a good idea to try to get her cleaned up.  Off came her dress, and her tights and eventually her bloomers.  I was pretty happy to see that the chunks were coming off without any problem and the orange wasn’t staining.  About that time, friend Kate walked in to check on us and see if she could be of any help, I let her know that if she could just get Lila’s coat from Brandon and let him know that we would be needing to leave soon, that would be great.  Lila was next to naked, but pretty much good as new.

I, on the other hand, looked like I had butchered something with yellow innards.

*Warning* There is a graphic picture coming up here !!!!!

***********************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Vomit and silk do not mix

Funny thing, my dress had just been picked up not even 48 hours earlier from the dry cleaners.  Do they take vomit covered clothing at the dry cleaners?  I’m just wondering if I should go ahead and toss it now and save myself the trip.

We drove home praying we would make it there before round two erupted.  There’s always a round 2.  Brandon wrapped a canvas grocery bag around Lila’s neck and demonstrated to her how to throw up in it should she need to again.  She road with a miserable scowl until we reached about the midway mark.

If only she knew any cuss words………

Round 2

About this time, the stench from my dress was becoming almost unbearable.  It’s possible that I may have stripped in the car so that we could make it home inducing any more vomit.  I think we were all praying that we could just be teleported home before anything else happened.  I just knew we were going to be in an accident and Lila and I wouldn’t be wearing any clothes, only coats.  They would find two random bags with vomit-covered dressy clothes and probably think that Brandon was somehow involved in some questionable activities.  I think the best part of the day was as we were driving along and Brandon informed me that right before loading Pukes and I in the car, he had fetched one of the pumpkin pies we took to church for potluck.  I love that husband of mine, always looking out for us.  Some other husbands might be worried about making sure the car was protected, that we had a bag to carry the nasty clothes in, but mine went right for a pie because he knew how excited I had been about my first pumpkin pie of the season.  Such a sweetheart that Brandon!

I was still wearing my undergarments in this photo…don’t worry parents

Now hours later, the girl is doing much better.  She has been eating and sleeping and informed us all the her tummy is happy again.  She’s rather gassy and by the smell of things, I don’t know how true that statement actually is, but for now – we’re good.

And that will teach me to never, ever, ever think I have my stuff together.  You may dodge the emergency room for one afternoon, but the puke fountain could be in your future.  Happy rest of your weekend!

Weirdos and I’ve Started My Christmas Shopping

I have some odd little birds that live in my house with me.  Their oddness doesn’t necessarily surprise me, however, the specific things that they chose to do sometimes really leave me confused.

Example 1:

While tidying up Mattie’s room a little bit, I noticed that her plastic piggy bank was full, but not nearly as heavy as it should be.  I don’t know what compelled me to open the bottom, but when I did what came pouring out left me feeling completely confused.

Corn

Her piggy bank was stuffed completely full with corn kernels.  And not even common popcorn kernels, but instead the kind that you find on decorative fall corn or what you might feed an actual pig.  I don’t have any explanation or reasoning for this.  And honestly, I haven’t even asked her about it’s just so weird to me.  The pig has just sat on my dresser for a few days now, still full of corn and every time I walk by, I just shake my head.  One of these days she and I might have a conversation about this, but for now….it just sits.

Example 2:

This note was also found in my eldest’s room.  Who does this?

Mattie, that’s who

And this is not an example of my children’s oddities, but rather another public service announcement and just in time for Christmas.  While perusing the internet the other day, I came upon this:

For our kids, we always do these four (and only these four) gifts each year

Something you want

Something you need

Something to wear and

Something to read

I knew immediately that I had just found Reese’s something to read.  And you can get it too for your Lego lover at Amazon for less than $20!  I’m pretty excited about it and can’t wait for him to start constructing scenes from the Bible with his blocks.  Merry Christmas to all of us!

Gone

My husband left me this weekend.

Let that sit there and marinate for a little bit.

Thankfully, he only left me for the weekend and then returned in time to kiss his babies goodnight Sunday evening.  And sadly, when he left Friday afternoon for a weekend of male bonding with his college buddies, it seemed as though our cable left with him.  I didn’t realize the state of affairs until several hours after he was gone, otherwise, I may have called and begged him to come back.  Thankfully, we don’t really rely on the tv too terribly much from Friday night to Saturday evening – but I’ll be really honest, I kinda felt like I was “roughing” it, living off the grid and taking a walk on the wild side without being able to turn on the tv to see what the weather was.  I lived in a constant state of fear that the kids might rebel against me and I wouldn’t have any calming episodes of “Little House on the Prairie” to get them back in their happy places.

We made it just fine though, really not missing it at all.

Friday afternoon, early evening the kids did a little dressing up to go and visit the neighbors closest to us.  I would hardly refer to this as trick or treating, it was more like going over to say hello and show some of the neighbors that we don’t see as often how big the kids have grown since last year.  They did manage to bring home an incredible amount of candy though for only visiting 5 families.  It happened to be incredibly cold (we had frost the next morning!) and I think most of the ‘hood figured that trick or treating in below freezing temperatures wouldn’t be very popular, so best to give out bowlfuls at a time.

My children usually wear somewhat themed costumes.  Not always, but if I can wing it, I try to go for something cohesive.  This year my children rifled through their many costumes and came up with this:

M-A-L-A-R-I-A…diseases never looked so cute!

Can you guess their theme?

This is how I imagine Matilda as an adult…just sitting with a pumpkin on mom’s front porch ready to head off to work

He was very concerned that he was missing a probiscus – something he learned about during his time at the Botanical Gardens and enjoys talking about now

She would roar at you

Probably not, but I was pretty excited about it. They are malaria!  Reese is the little mosquito that infects people.  Lila is a lion, representing Africa, where malaria is more common.  And Mattie Belle is the missionary doctor!  And these were all costumes that we have just lying around our house – the scrubs are actually Reese’s pajamas….the even say “Dr. Baughman” on them.

After visiting our neighbors, we headed over to our Nelson’s house for some of Ms Sara’s Famous Cheesy Vegetable Soup and bible trivia.  The soup lived up to its reputation but I kinda have to hang my head in shame at my children’s biblical knowledge.  For the most part, they were on the right track, but with every answer they gave there was just a little something off.  For example, when asked the question of which river in Egypt did pharaoh throw all the baby boys in, the kiddos answered with “The Nylon River”.  Close kids, close…..but sadly, so very off.

We will be practicing our bible trivia nightly from now on.

Hopefully, everyone learned a little something.  And if nothing else, the girls got some much enjoyed cuddle time with “auntie” Sara.

How Many Nelman ladies can you fit in one chair? I bet there could have been at least one more:)

Sabbath morning, I wish I could say that everything went awesome and we arrived promptly at church, maybe even with time to spare.  At least I can say that we did eventually arrive at church.  And all Baughmans were able to stay in the service, which isn’t something that can always be said – that might explain my children’s funky bible knowledge.  While kids #2 and #3 and I were waiting for Mattie, who was practicing in Children’s Choir after church, I asked if they wanted to take a picture to sent to Daddy to wish his a Happy Sabbath.  These are their pictures:

Festive Fall Socks

Reese just wanted Dad to see his socks

And I told Lila to say “Cheese” and this is what happened.  This is the tamest one, they seemed to only get rapidly more graphic and disturbing the more I took.  I’m sure it really left him feeling loved and wanting to rush right back to us.

Be careful, your face might stay that way, Lila

Sunday, Reese had his first basketball practice.  We really could have used our patriarch for this activity.  We missed him all weekend, but I couldn’t hand;e it pretty good….until this.  I know nothing about basketball and the boy seemed to have a lot of questions that I really wasn’t any help for.  I wasn’t even too sure about how I should dress him to such a thing.  “Just dress me like Daddy”, was Reese’s request.  I did my best and thankfully, the PreK-K crew at the Jewish Community Center isn’t very discerning.  He sported a SEC team shirt and those swooshy, loud nylon (the fabric, not the river) warm-up pants….oh and athletic shoes that weren’t just casual sneakers.  I think he looked the part.  He was also thrilled that they didn’t actually play a real game because he had been a little concerned about not knowing A) who was on his team and 2) any of the actual rules.  When asked later if he liked it and had fun, his response was, “Yes, I will go back.”  Well good Reese, because it’s already paid for and like it or not, you were going back next time, anyway.  But I’m glad he had fun just the same.

There was some standing near cones going on

And Dribbling

Our next event was to head to our little friend’s 3rd birthday.  I wish I could say the highlight of that event was the adorable little outfit the birthday girl was wearing.  Or maybe the precious little cake that had crafted just for her.  The delicious chicken salad sandwiches that I eat only once a year, at her birthday parties.  Even the birthday girl herself would have been a fantastic, stand-out of the event.  Instead, the moment that will stay with me forever is that in the last few moments that we were there, Mattie Belle managed to chip her tooth.  Thankfully, her teeth are still rather crooked so you couldn’t really see the corner missing from her left front ADULT…PERMANANT…NOT GOING TO GET A NEW ONE  front tooth.  Thankfully, she chipped it at her dentist’s house and her dentist was right there to relieve her mother that it was going to be no big deal.  It was that moment that kinda made me feel like maybe Brandon shouldn’t leave me alone anymore.  I do plenty on my own and usually handle things just fine.  I’ve taken the kids on planes across the country by myself, driven with 3 – one of those still nursing – on a 7 hour drive.  I took them to a NASCAR event even for Pete’s sake…..but maybe this weekend had been too much?

And back to that cable and internet being out….we had managed just fine all weekend…really didn’t even miss it….until Sunday night.  When the boy and I were huddled together watching the numbers move back and forth in the last few moments, the last explosive moments of a very critical NASCAR race…watching this on my phone no less, I thought the boy was going to lose it.  “Mattie’s tooth is broken, we can’t see the race….Daddy needs to be home now!”

One can only handle so much.

And thankfully, the race ended with a victory by our guy and OUR GUY came through the front door at about the same time.

Welcome home….and don’t leave us again….at least, if you do don’t take the cable.

*On a side note, Mattie’s tooth has been repaired.  I am setting up a pool where we can take/ make bets on how long it will be before she knocks her “fix” out.  We are thinking of having a celebratory event for every year that it stays connected to her tooth.  I give it 4 months before we are back at Christal’s office again.  The polls are now open, exercise your right to vote.